


Just A Study Group

by JellyWisp



Series: Just A Study Group [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Awkward Flirting, Backstory, Bad Parenting, Boys In Love, Childhood Trauma, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyones sad at first, Flashbacks, Flirting, Fluff, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, No one can deal with their feelings at first, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Subtle Suicidal Ideation, Teen Romance, Teenagers, This makes me sad writing but I love it, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, jeongin is Baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22106428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyWisp/pseuds/JellyWisp
Summary: DISCONTINUEDYang Jeongin has 8 best friends who all love him very much, and he decides he wants to introduce them to each other. So he made a group chat for them saying it was "Just a Study Group" He knew little about everyone's problems, how each and every one of them felt alone. Slowly they all come around to each other, slowly each finds out something bad is happening in the minds of the other. Everyone wants to help each other, everyone wants to be there for one another. But what challenges will they face once school starts in a week? Sure, they'll be closer in location, but will they're new friend group hold up against the struggles of the start of the school year. And if it does, what will become of their relationships? None of them could predict that they'd all end up loving each other wholeheartedly.In other words, Yang Jeongin is a genius.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Everyone, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Han Jisung | Han/Everyone, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Everyone, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin/Everyone, Kim Seungmin/Kim Woojin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Woojin/Everyone, Kim Woojin/Lee Felix, Kim Woojin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Woojin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Seo Changbin/Everyone, Seo Changbin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Yang Jeongin | I.N/Everyone
Series: Just A Study Group [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591213
Comments: 12
Kudos: 153





	1. Study Group

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first fanfiction work. My update schedule may be wonky for a while as I'm still figuring this out, but I will update at least once a week, though I will try for everyday/every other day. Before each chapter there will be a brief summary in the beginning notes. I hope you all enjoy the first chapter of "Just a study group" 
> 
> When I originally wrote this fic I had pictures of each of the boys for their introductions. But I'm still very new to this and cant figure out how to insert photos yet so please bare with me as I'm figuring this out. In this chapter I'll be just briefly describing the photos. The next few chapters dont have any pictures so that will give me some time to figure it out.
> 
> I haven't really decided where the setting of this fic will be, so for now I'm just using the American school system as a basis. It may change in the future but that's what I'm sticking with for now.
> 
> Any additional warnings I may need for future chapters will be tagged, and if I cant tag them any warnings that may apply per chapter will be listed in the notes. 
> 
> In this first chapter Jeongin adds his 8 best friends to a group chat. The 8 boys are confused at first, but quickly start getting to know eachother through introductions. Throughout this chapter there is a lot of love for Jeongin expressed by the boys.

August 19

Monday

1 week before school starts

**_…._ **

**Study Group**

**_Jeongin_ ** _has created a chat "Study Group"_

 **_Jeongin_ ** _has added_ **_Seungmin_ ** _,_ **_Felix_ ** _,_ **_Jisung_ ** _,_

**_Hyunjin_ ** _,_ **_Changbin_ ** _,_ **_Minho_ ** _,_ **_Chan_ ** _,_

 _and_ **_Woojin_ **

**16:03**

**_Jeongin_ **: Welcome!

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Baby™ Created a chat 

**_Jeongin_ **: Hyungjin! This is a chat made so we can study with the smart kids so be professional!

 **_Felix_ **: Hi?

 **_Chan_ **: Smart Kids?

 **_Woojin_ **: I'm very confused -_- 

**_Jeongin_ **: I thought a study group would be good for everyone. I know all of you, but not all of you know each other I guess?

 **_Felix_ **: Should we introduce ourselves?

 **_Jisung_ **: Whatd I miss

 **_Jeongin_ **: Heres Jisung, late for everything just like usual

 **_Jisung_ **: Rood

 **_Felix_ **: Rood

 **_Felix_ **: Bro...

 **_Jisung_ **: Did we just have… a broment 😯

 **_Felix_ **: Bro I think we did

 **_Jisung_ **: Bro

 **_Seungmin_ **: Wow those two were made for eachother

 **_Minho_ **: Still don't understand the point of this group or who any of you are

 **_Jeongin_ **: The point of this group is so that we can all study together and help each other with classes once school starts up. All of you are my friends, and I think you'll get along and study together well so I added you to this group. I also know some of you are new to the area so I thought it would be a good time to make friends. But introduction time I guess. You all know me but i'm Yang Jeongin! I'm 15 and a sophomore. I like singing and acting! Ive gone to YellowWood both years of highschool!

(A photo of Jeongin with his brown hair flying every which way across his face. He's holding up a peace sign next to his left cheek)

 **_Felix_ **: *sighs* fuck I'm too soft

 **_Chan_ **: Soft

 **_Seungmin_ **: *squeak* Cute

 **_Woojin_ **: UwU

 **_Jeongin_ **: Not sure I like this chat idea anymore 😑

 **_Jeongin_ **: Now that were done with the"soft for Jeongin" time can someone else go.

 **_Hyunjin_ **: OOOO me!

 **_Hyunjin_ **: I'm Hwang Hyunjin, 16, Junior. Actor, Dancer, Singer extraordinaire, and at your service! 😘 I've been at YellowWood the last year 

(A photo of Hyunjin next to the ocean with the sun setting behind him. His hair is quite obviously being blown about by the wind, and he has a very wide smile across his face while winking.)

 **_Felix_ **: I think I just died and went to heaven cause I could swear there's a picture of an ACTUAL ANGEL on my phone

 **_Minho_ **: Damn boy I need some help up cause I fell after I was blinded by the literal sunshine that is you

 **_Hyunjin_ **: So I see I'm not the only flirt in this chat how exciting

 **_Woojin_ **: So I suppose i'll go next. I'm Kim Woojin, I'm 17 and a senior. I'm interested in Singing, Kendo, and I like horror movies. It's nice to meet you all! Im new to the area and just moved here this year from my hometown! UwU 

(A beautiful photo of Woojin smiling infront of a rosebush, he has a single rose petal resting on his held-out hand)

 **_Chan_ **: I see something truly beautiful in that picture and it isn't the flowers ☺️

 **_Jisung_ **: Did you just use a blushy face…

 **_Felix_ **: An absolute DAD!

**_Felix_ ** _has changed_ **_Chan_ ** _'s username to_ **_Dad_ **

**_Dad_ **: I can't tell you how much I hate this.

 **_Felix_ **: Deal with it UwU

 **_Woojin_ **: *Scree* the children are learning!

 **_Felix_ **: Dad! I found your mom

**_Felix_ ** _has changed_ **_Woojin_ ** _'s username to_ **_Mom_ **

**_Mom_ **: I am surprisingly okay with this.

 **_Changbin_ **: I'm completely lost

 **_Jeongin_ **: CHANGBIN WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

 **_Changbin_ **: I was walking to work, something YOU are about to be late to

 **_Jeongin_ **: SHIT STALL FOR ME ILL BE THERE SOON

 **_Jisung_ **: *gasp* The child swore!

 **_Jisung_ **: Anyway I'm Han Jisung! I'm a junior and 16. I'm into rapping and producing and I do some art. I'm new to the area too and moved from Malaysia 

(A photo of Jisung looking twords the camera dramatically biting his lip)

 **_Dad_ **: You're from Malaysia??

 **_Jisung_ **: Nah, I was just studying there for a while. I've also studied in America for a while. 

**_Minho_ **: I am… how the fuck… someone teach me how to breath cause I literally forgot

 **_Seungmin_ **: Oh wow you've been a lot of places huh?

 **_Jisung_ **: Nah just really those two. It was pretty cool though

 **_Mom_ **: I want to squish VwV

 **_Felix_ **: Bro you're an angel and I could never shine brighter than you

 **_Jisung_ **: I'm sure you're loads hotter than me bro

 **_Felix_ **: Bro not even close but ill send a pic of me anyway

(A rarher dramatic photo of Felix sitting on a ledge infront of the sunset, he's smiling at the camera and holding up a peace sign)

 **_Felix_ **: I'm Lee Felix. I'm a junior and 16. I like Dancing, Singing, Rapping, and most music related activities. Oh and I also do Taekwondo! I just moved here recently

 **_Jisung_ **: and you said you're not hotter than me when you're FUCKING STUNNING BRO HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME LIKE THAT

 **_Dad_ **: Awh you're cute 

**_Hyunjin_ **: HOLY FUCK

 **_Felix_ **: I didn't lie I'm not hot!

 **_Jisung_ **: LIES

 **_Hyunjin_ **: SLANDER

 **_Mom_ **: Where are you from Felix?

 **_Jisung_ **: Okay so who's left?

 **_Felix_ **: We dont have that many people left to go

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Lol Felix just casually skipped over Woojins question

 **_Dad_ **: I guess it's my turn now.

(A photo of Chan sitting on a bed, he has a small white dog in his lap which seems really uncomfortable, but Chan is still smiling wide.)

 **_Dad:_ **I'm Bang Chan! Your favorite Aussie Bro and apparently dad. I'm 17, a senior. I like singing and producing, I'm also into dance and studying languages. I've attended YellowWood the last two years

 **_Felix_ **: WAIT WAIT YOURE AUSTRALIAN

 **_Dad_ **: Yeah, lived there most of my life

 **_Felix_ **: MATE IM AUSTRALIAN

 **_Dad_ **: SERIOUSLY?! DO I HAVE ANOTHER AUSSIE BRO?

 **_Felix_ **: You best believe it! I definitely didn't expect this when I moved here

 **_Dad_ **: Ahaha I'm so happy I could explode I've lived here a few years and haven't met another Aussie until now ahhhhh ☺️☺️☺️

 **_Mom_ **: I believe I just discovered a new element : Cutieanium. Only found when pictures of Bang Chan are shown because good god are you adorable 

**_Hyunjin_ **: Are you a fucking model because if not you should be

 **_Felix_ **: I just UwU out loud

 ** _Seungmin_** : Im next! Kim Seungmin, nice to meet you all! 16, a junior. I'm a blogger and a photographer but I'm also really into singing and music! I'm new to the area and came from America!

(A picture or Seungmin smiling wide at the camera, he's wearing a fox hat that has fabric running all the way down to his hands. It's a paw! Its slipped over his hand as he holds it up near his face)

 **_Felix_ **: You're really cute Seungmin! It's nice to meet you too

 **_Mom_ **: I have so many children now -_- how am I going to feed all of you… I mean I have chicken but that's about all

 **_Jisung_ **: only chicken?

 **_Hyunjin_ **: That's the only thing you took from that sentence… huh?

 **_Seungmin_ **: … who's next

 **_Minho_ **: Me! And I'm the last until 20:00 at the least. Innie doesn't get off until then which means the other kid who I don't know the name of yet probably won't get off until then too since they're working the same shift. But anyways

(A picture of Minho clearly sitting in a car, he has a chubby cat in his lap as he Smiles twords the camera)

 **_Minho_ **: Lee Minho reporting for duty! Here to protect and watch over all of the cats and kitties of this world. 17, senior. Hobbies include Cats, Kittens, Cat themed things, dancing, and singing. I also like hiking! I'm new to the area and only moved here a month ago

 **_Chan_ **: Oh! I like hiking as well, but I never have anyone to go with.

 **_Minho_ **: We could go together some time. I'm new to the area so I don't know many paths.

 **_Chan_ **: I know the area well, I've gone to this school the past two years so I know most of the trails. 

**_Seungmin_ **: I've never gone hiking but I'd love to try

 **_Minho_ **: we should all get together and go one day!

….

**17:10**

**_Minho_ **: Did everyone leave…

….

**17:56**

**_Minho_ **: Hello darkness my old friend 

….

**20:23**

**_Jeongin_ **: Hey guys me and Bin just got off work. I'm heading home to sleep so I won't respond until tomorrow!

 **_Felix_ **: Sleep well Pumpkin! Cant wait to hang with you tomorrow it'll be rad 

**_Jisung_ **: Sleep well angel, sweet dreams <3

 **_Dad_ **: G'night tiny ❤ lots of love and sleep well

 **_Seungmin_ **: have sweet dreams tonight cupcake!😍

 **_Mom_ **: Night lovebug, don't let the bedbugs bite! Rest well and make sure you get some water and food in you when you get home

 **_Minho_ **: Sleep well kitten, we'll all talk more tomorrow

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Lovely I hope you have the most wonderful dreams tonight

 **_Jeongin_ **: Thanks guys! Love you all and you all rest up tonight too! Dorm assignments come out tomorrow! 

**_Changbin_ **: I know this is an awkward time but I'm just gonna post my intro now cause I'll just forget later if I dont… 

(A picture of Changbin staring blankly at the camera, he's holding up a peace sign next to his face)

 **_Changbin_ **: I'm Seo Changbin, or Bin as most people call me. I'm 17, and a senior. I like rapping, dark things, producing, and I sometimes sing. I'm also an artist. The only reason I'm really here is because Jeongin is my one and only soft spot and I cant say no to him so I guess hi.

 **_Jeongin_ ** : dont be fooled by the picture and *cough* _semi-rude_ introduction to changbin, he's a whole ass ball of fluff and cuddles once you get to know him. Also CHANGBIN YOU BETTER SEND A CUTE FLUFFY PIC OF YOU RIGHT NOW OR NEXT TIME YOURE LATE I WONT COVER FOR YOU

 **_Changbin_ **: I feel like that would be more threatening if I ever actually didn't show up to work like you but I have a perfect record of attendance so… but it's you so I'll do it anyway

(A photo of Changbin with a small smile spread on his face, it's quite obvious the smile was forced for this photo)

 **_Changbin_ **: This is the cutest your getting Bunny

 **_Felix_ **: I am: soft

 **_Felix_ **: Like you're actually adorable I'm not gonna lie. And from your intro it doesn't really sound like you want to be here but I'm glad you are, it's always nice to meet some new people so I hope one day we can be friends 😊

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Not bad, Changbin. Smile seems a little fake but it's still cute. I hope we can get to know each other more

 **_Changbin_ **: thanks, to the both of you I guess. You're right Felix, I didn't really want to be here but I read up in chat and you all seem nice for the most part so I guess I'll make the most of it. But for now, I'm exhausted and need some sleep. Night everyone! And night Bunny, sweet dreams. 

….

**05:53**

**_Felix_ **: DORM ASSIGNMENTS ARE OUT WOO!

 **_Felix_ **: Is no one else awake…

 **_Felix_ **: Oof well then I guess I'll celebrate alone until everyone else wakes up

….

**08:37**

**_Changbin_ **: Did you not sleep last night?

 **_Felix_ **: What is this sleep you speak of

 **_Felix_ **: But anyways… WHOD YOU GET FOR YOUR ROOMMATE

 **_Changbin_ **: Surprisingly someone from this GC

 **_Felix_ **: SAME! IM WITH JEONGIN AND HYUNJIN

 **_Changbin_ **: How'd you get Jeongin in your dorm when he's a sophomore?

 **_Felix_ **: No clue but I'm not gonna argue, I get the baby 😍

 **_Dad_ **: Maybe the sophomore dorms overflowed so they had to find somewhere else for him?

 **_Changbin_ **: That would make sense. 

**_Felix_ **: OKAY BUT WHO DID YOU GUYS GET

 **_Dad_ **: Minho

 **_Changbin_ **: Woojin

 **_Felix_ **: DID EVERYONE GET SOMEONE FROM THIS GROUP OH MY GOSH THATD BE PERFECT

 **_Dad_ **: That would be perfect but too unlikely to happen. I'm sure Seungmin and Jisung got other people 

**_Jisung_ **: And with that statement you would be wrong. I just checked and me and Seungmin are together on the junior floor.

 **_Changbin_ ** **:** Wow… were all rooming together

 **_Felix_ **: I am: hyped

 **_Jisung_ **: BRO THIS MEANS WE GET TO BE NEAR EACHOTHER

 **_Felix_ **: BRO I CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU

 **_Mom_ **: I think something needs to happen here…

**_Mom_ ** _has changed_ **_Felix_ ** _'s username to_ **_Bro1_ **

**_Mom_ ** _has changed_ **_Jisung_ ** _'s username to_ **_Bro2_ **

**_Mom_ **: Perfect

 **_Bro1_ **: I am in full support of this 

**_Bro2_ **: I think this is the best thing to ever happen to me

 **_Dad_ **: I'm actually pretty excited to meet everyone in this group. Everyone here seems pretty cool

 **_Bro1_ **: SAME it's so exciting, new friends and all. 

**_Jeongin_ **: What the heckle is happening

 **_Bro2_ **: Did you just say… heckle?

 **_Hyunjin_ **: The baby is awake 

**_Jeongin_ **: Hyunjin I swear stop calling me baby or I WILL KISS YOU ON THE FUCKING MOUTH OH MY GOD

 **_Hyunjin_ **: 1. Dont tempt me Lovely and 2. Hmmm thought this was a study group chat that were supposed to be professional in Innie 🤨 Or were you mistaken yesterday when you said that

 **_Jeongin_ **: I'm gonna… urg ahhhh you're frustrating Hyunjin but I swoon when you use logic

 **_Bro1_ **: I want a cute boy to call me baby ☹

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Awh dont worry baby there's always room for cuties like you 😉

 **_Bro2_ **: Is it the "Everyone is thirty for Hyunjin" hour or am I just mistaken? Because lemme tell you it is for me

 **_Bro1_ **: Mood

 **_Jeongin_ **: Hyunjin is always thirsty for everyone so 

**_Hyunjin_ **: Actually right now its literally just the other 8 people in this group chat because DAMN YOUR ALL HOT AS FUCK AND IM LUCKY TO BE AROUND YOU WITHOUT FAINTING

 **_Dad_ **: You haven't even met us in person yet…

 **_Hyunjin_ **: Yea and when I do I'm gonna die from the room being too hot 🥵 

**_Jeongin_** _has changed_ ** _Hyunjin_** _'s username to_

**_Flirt_ **

**_Flirt_ **: I mean you aren't wrong Lovely 

**_Mom_ **: This group chat is an absolute mess and it's only been a day

 **_Bro2_ **: That's the fun of it

 **_Minho_ **: WAIT HOLY SHIT CHANS MY ROOMMATE FUCK

 **_Jeongin_ **: Minho late to the party for once

 **_Dad_ **: So Jeongin, how'd you manage to get placed with the Juniors? There's only 2 three person rooms per grade and you got one of them with arguably two of the hottest and most flirty boys in this group chat

 **_Jeongin_ **: Overflow in the sophomore rooms, I was the only sophomore without a room. But you wont catch me complaining cause honestly I'm down as fuck for rooming with two hot flirts

 **_Bro1_ **: I'm definitely not complaining either because I have the cutest ever and the most flirty and I'm gonna have fun in this room

 **_Mom_ **: Everyone mother has had an idea! Friday we should all have a sleepover, probably in Innie Fe and Jins room because it'll be the biggest being a three person room.

 **_Bro1_ **: Fe?

 **_Flirt_ **: Jin?

 **_Jeongin_ **: I love the nickname Innie imma be honest it makes me feel like baby UwU

 **_Mom_ **: I've taught you well young one v_v and if you two don't like those nicknames I wont say them anymore!

 **_Bro1_ **: No I like it! I've just never been called that before I've only ever had one nickname and that's Lixie

 **_Hyunjin_ **: I've only ever been called Jinnie. It's nice xD

 **_Bro2_ **: Awh wait no the name Lixie is so cute oh my gosh

**_Bro2_ ** _has changed_ **_Bro1_ ** _'s username to_ **_Lixie_ **

**_Bro2_ ** _has changed their username to_

**_TheCutest_ **

**_Mom_ **: Wait but that's not right 

**_Mom_ ** _has changed_ **_TheCutest_ ** _'s username to_

**_TheCutest(2)_ **

**_Mom_ ** _has changed_ **_Jeongin_ ** _'s username to_

**_TheCutest_ **

**_TheCutest(2)_ **: You right, You right

 **_Lixie_ **: Awh UwU

 **_Dad_ **: I support Innie being known as the cutest 

**_TheCutest_ **: I feel : Violated 😤

 **_Flirt_ **: Baby is angry 

**_Changbin_ **: Hey Bunny you coming to work or…??

 **_TheCutest_ **: SHIT THAT WAS TODAY

 **_Changbin_ **: Bun… we have work everyday except Wednesdays and weekends

 **_TheCutest_ **: I'm forgetful okay 

**_Changbin_ **: You've been working there more than three months and it hasn't changed 

**_Flirt_ **: The baby is forgetful 

**_Lixie_ **: Where do you guys work anyways?

 **_Changbin_ **: Theres this little restaurant that's actually like across the street from the school dorms called Bellas Baked Goods. We both work there, but I've been there since last school year and Innie just started there a few months ago.

 **_TheCutest_ **: I'm not gonna make it on time ahhhh Changbin send a picture of you for good luck

 **_Changbin_ **: I'm literally in my school uniform right now

 **_TheCutest_ **: Dont care please 😟

 **_Changbin_ **: *Sigh* Fine… I'm too soft for you to say no

(A picture of Chanbin sitting against a white wall. He has a blue coat on that has a patch on the side. The first line reads "Changbin" and the second reads "YellowWood")

 **_Lixie_ **: Why are you in your uniform?

 **_Minho_ **: Can we actually talk about this sleepover idea cause that sounds fun

 **_Changbin_ **: Summer school Lix… it isn't fun when you have to work a 5 hour shift after your first class and then go back to school afterwards

 ** _Lixie_** : Oof that doesn't sound fun. I'm already moved into the dorms so maybe I could come visit you and Innie at work and keep you company?

 **_Changbin_ **: How are you moved in already? Thought it was only summer school kids

 ** _Lixie_ **: Umm… special exception because of family problems

 **_Mom_ **: The most practical space for the sleepover would be the three person dorm but we could always do it in anyone's 

**_Dad_ **: I mean could we do this? It'll be the first week of school we might all have a lot of work to do

 **_TheCutest_ **: WE COULD MAKE IT A STUDY SLEEP OVER! ANYONE WHO NEEDS HELP WITH SOMETHING CAN GET IT AT THE SLEEPOVER

 **_Mom_ **: That might work

 **_Lixie_ **: Thatd be nice 

**_TheCutest(2)_ **: That's a good idea! 

**_Dad_ **: Innie with the smart ideas

 **_Minho_ **: What do the dorms look like?

 **_Lixie_ **: I could send a pic. They put me in a two person room by myself cause they didn't have my school dorm assignment yet so 

(Its a picture of bright room, filled with lots of white and teal. To the left of the picture is a wooden white desk stacked to the brim with various things. Above the desk theres a shelf, two pictures lay there, one of Felix and the other one able to be half-seen) next to the desk is what seems to be a box made out of wall. Theres a curtain in the middle, the right side pulled away just enough to reveal theres a bed behind it. Stacked on top is another wall box that looks the same, thought this was is connected to a ladder. It's sort of like the beds in touring buses. The walls are white, and the curtain contrasting heavily being a bright teal. Next to the beds is a window with the same bright teal colored curtain draped over it.)

 **_Lixie_ **: This is the two person room

 **_Minho_ **: Wow that's pretty

 **_Dad_ **: Yea it's pretty homely

 **_TheCutest_ **: I've always liked the dorms. But I've never stayed in one of the three person dorms before

 **_Mom_ **: I'm sure it wont be too different

 **_Lixie_ **: I'm moving to the three person dorm the day before school starts so I can send everyone a picture ahead of time and we can see if it will be better for the sleepover

 **_Mom_ **: Wait so are we doing the sleepover?

 **_Dad_ **: I'm down

 **_TheCutest_ **: Changbin said he'll come too

 **_Flirt_ **: I'd come

 **_Lixie_ **: Shouldent you be working Pumkin?

 **_TheCutest_ **: I barely ever do. No clue how I've made it three months here

 **_Mom_ **: So everyone is in then?

 **_Dad_ **: Think so

 **_Minho_ **: I'm really excited

….

**Aussie1, Aussie2**

**09:50**

**_Aussie1_ **: Hey Lix, I'm gonna surprise Bin and Innie at work around 1, wanna come with me?

 **_Aussie2_ **: YES! I get to meet Changbin and you before school startsssss!

 **_Aussie1_ **: Mhm! We get to know each other before anyone else in the group. Other than literally everyone knowing Innie

 **_Aussie1_ **: Okay I'll text you the address of the Bakery in a few, see you then


	2. The Bakery on Ruby Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix remembers why he came to Yellow Wood, and worries over his first impression while waiting for Chan. Chan and Felix share a moment together and bond even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - There are brief mentions of abuse and description of injuries of abuse. The mention of abuse is not long and does not by any means contain a lot of description. Just be warned that it is mentioned in this chapter
> 
> Hi everyone! Welcome to the second chapter of Just A Study Group! This chapter is Felix-centric and contains some of his background into why he moved here. It IS a shorter chapter but I just wanted to put some background to Felix, just as I'll eventually do with all of the boys. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**The Bakery On Ruby Street**

**12:05**

Felix stood outside the small building. He admired the framework, the way the windows slightly curved into the wall, making it have a unique and modern look. The red paint on the walls was just dark enough to be alluring without being a dark, scary red. And although the paint was chipping in some places it made the small bakery on Ruby Street stand out more. It looked cute, like a nice place to go sit and rest with friends. He was excited to be here, getting to meet some of the other boys before school started felt _good_. But he was also nervous. He was fidgeting heavily with his sleeve, pressing the cuffs button ever so slightly into his palm to keep himself grounded. He was worried for so many reasons. He knew he looked scruffy. The bruising around his left eye had yet to fully heal over, the green and yellow surrounding his eye still visible from a distance. It looked ugly, and the comments he had gotten on it didn't help how he felt. The swelling of his lip was also quite visible especially as it was red, which looked very out of place against the pale pink of the rest of his lip. He was scared of what they would think, and he knew he wasn't close enough with any of the boys to fully tell them what happened yet. He wasn't close enough with anyone at this new place to tell them. He had just moved here recently after being kicked out of his mom's house, not before she beat him though. Felix had decided that it was time to come out to her, he thought she might accept him, and even if she didn't he expected her to still let him live there. He never expected she would start yelling and hitting him. When she finished her attack she gathered some of his clothes and then threw them out into the yard where he had run to, hoping to avoid getting hit again. She screamed at him to never come back, and so he decided to do just that. He had grabbed the plastic bag his mother had stuffed his small amount of belongings in and went on his way. He borrowed some money from family and used what he had saved up to buy a plane ticket. Once at his destination he applied to schools. He had exceptional grades and participated in many clubs and extracurriculars in Australia, and knew he had a good shot at getting a scholarship to a private school. And then three days into applying, he was accepted at YellowWood Highschool. He told them of his situation, being kicked out and having to move here by himself at 16, and they offered him a dorm during the summer until school started up. And now he was here, he had new friends, a place to stay. Life was getting back to normal. But he couldn't help it as he worried about his appearance. He didn't have any type of excuse ready if any of the boys asked him what happened. What if they weren't accepting just like his mom? But Felix remembered how much everyone seemed to be flirting with each other, that must mean they're at the very least comfortable around male affection, right? At least that's what he hoped. Felix played more with his sleeve, so lost in thought he didn't register the voice calling his name. The tap on his shoulder a few seconds later finally brought him back to reality, and he looked up to see Chan. Felix blushed slightly, Chan was definitely more attractive in person. He smiled, and Chan smiled back, holding his hand out. "I'm Chan, it's nice to see you in person Fe." Felix slowly took his hand, shaking it. "How the hell is your hand so soft?" The question had slipped out of his mouth. He didn't mean to say it out loud, but he had never held a hand that soft. His blush increased, embarrassed he had just said that to one of the most attractive boys he'd ever seen. But the embarrassment all went away as soon as he heard Chan laughing. It was like an angel singing, the prettiest sound he'd ever heard. And slowly he started laughing too, and there they stood. Outside the tiny bakery on Ruby street, laughing with each other for the first time, but most definitely not the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sad I made Felix's background so sad but I wanted everyone to have a different reason for ending up in Yellow Wood so ill deal with what I've created. I know it's sad but there will definitely be a lot of comfort for him in the future!


	3. Get Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this new chapter, Changbin is faced with something he wasn't prepared for: Some of the boys from the group chat visiting him and Jeongin at work. Now Changbin has to face the one thing he hates most about himself, his homosexuality. How will he deal with it while being next to some of the boys he finds most attractive in the group?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter - Internalized Homophobia, talk of self-hate, brief mentions of bruises
> 
> Changbin doesn't like the fact that he's gay and really struggles with himself, its a sad chapter for Changbin and how he ignores his feelings. But there's also Felix/Chan/Jeongin fluff in this chapter. This chapter shows some of the ways Jeongin is very close with his friends in, like prolonged hugs and sitting on their laps.

**Get Together**

August 20

Tuesday

6 days before school

**12:15**

Today Changbin was working the register. He always found this part of work boring, much preferring to be baking in the back. But like always Jeongin had used his puppy eyes to convince Changbin to let him work in back (for the express purpose of slacking off without the boss seeing). So there he was stuck packing cookies and cakes for customers after ringing up their orders. He was lucky today though, most customers were just picking up orders and leaving. Unlike most days where the Bakery would be packed with nowhere to sit, it was almost empty. So when the all-too-familiar bell rung at the door, he was more cheerful than usual. He gave off a cheerily "Be there in one second" and got up from where he was stationed in front of the baked goods. Walking to the register, he definitely didn't expect to see two of the boys from the group chat he had just been added to the day before. "Oh… Hi, guys" Changbins' voice cracked out. This wasn't supposed to happen today, he wasn't supposed to meet any of them like this. He was going to wait until Monday where he could meet his new roommate Woojin for the first time. Then wait until the sleepover to meet everyone else. He had it all planned in his head down to what he would wear on each such occasion. But now, directly in front of him, stood the two boys he was least excited to meet. He found both extremely attractive, and that was a problem for him. He was never accepting of himself and his attraction to boys and in his mind, he wasn't about to start now. So when Chan flashed a smile that could outshine the sun Changbin almost exploded on sight. "W-what can I do for you two? Felix and Chan right?" He pointed at each boy respectively, and each shook their head yes. "We wanted to come visit you and Tiny at work!" Chan squeaked out, obviously happy to be here. Felix let a light smile fall across his face but Changbin couldn't help but worry over the sight of his black eye and swollen lip. Though he didn't know this boy, he was still concerned that something bad had happened to him. Changbin shook his head, deciding he would talk to him later to check up on him. Changbin cleared his throat then spoke out. "Oh, that's nice of the both of you." He let the ends of his lips lift slightly, hoping the two boys in front of him wouldn't see the fake in his smile or the tired on his face. It was a relief when Felix excitedly squealed out "Is that a moon cookie! It's so pretty!" The taller boy next to him looked over at the shorter, and his eyes lit up with joy seeing Felix jumping up and down like a child on their birthday. Changbin couldn't help but smile at the affection obviously shared between Chan and Felix, and wondered if he'd ever be like that with anyone but Jeongin. "Why don't… I go grab Jeongin, and then I'll bake you a cookie just for you Felix." Chan looked at Changbin questioningly, wondering why Changbin would do that when there are quite obviously cookies already baked and available. "You really don't have to do that Binnie!" The smaller all but yelled out at the surprise of Changbin's announcement. Felix was confused too, he didn't know why Changbin, someone who didn't even want to know them in the first place, would do something so nice for _him_. He's _Felix_ after all, he isn't worth all that trouble. "It's okay, it's really no trouble. You deserve a fresh-baked cookie Lixie. Do you want one too Chan?" The taller looked down at Changbin, smiling wide. "No, I'm okay, I'll just have water." Changbin nodded, grabbing a glass and filling it up as Felix and Chan sat down at one of the many open tables. He walked it over to them, explaining how he'd be right back with Jeongin. Chan and Felix looked at each other quizingly as Changbin disappeared to the back. And that's when Chan noticed the bruising on his face. Felix could see the change in his demeanor, in his facial expressions. And he gulped hard. This wasn't a conversation he was prepared for, especially as he didn't even know the boy across from him that well yet. So when Jeongin came bouncing out of the backroom screeching Felix and Chan's names Felix excitedly stood up and opened his arms. Jeongin happily complied and jumped up, putting his arms around Felix's neck. "What are you guys doing here oh my gosh this is the best surprise!" Jeongin pushed his head further into Felix's neck, and Felix couldn't deny the fact that this felt nice. It felt right, he loves being hugged. But lately, he hasn't had anyone _to_ hug. Chan stood up next to them, wrapping his long arms around both of the boys, laughing as Jeongin struggled to get away from the affection. They stood like that for a second, just enjoying the comfort of the hug. After a few seconds of silence they all sat down in the small booth, Jeongin was in Chan's lap and Felix sat across from them. "Chan invited me out to come visit you and Binnie at work! I thought it would be a perfect surprise." Felix smiled, he was happy he could do something nice for his friend. And there the three sat for 20 minutes, just chatting away until finally, Changbin emerged from the back with a single plate. He walked over to the others, realizing the only way he'd fit was to sit on Felix's lap. He looked at Felix, staring at him awkwardly for a second before setting the plate down and going to grab a chair. He almost fainted when the lonely boy in the seat said "Binnie you can sit on my lap if you want." Changbin was glad he was facing away from the others because he was sure his face was bright red. He took a breath, trying his best to keep his voice level as he responded to the comment. "N-no it's okay Lixie, I'll just grab a chair." As soon as the words were out, he swore he could _hear_ Felix frowning, but he still grabbed the nearest chair and pulled it over to the small booth. Now sitting in the middle of the three boys, he took in a deep breath. Changbin knew this would be the only time he'd have to relax until later that night, and he savored it. When he opened his eyes he let himself take in the sight of the three boys on either side of him. How Jeongin just slightly had pink dusted over his cheeks, and how that made him even more attractive. Changbin thought about how he could kiss those cheeks all day, he loved the sound of Jeongins' giggling when he did cute things. Then he looked to the boy Jeongin was sitting on. The tall boy with blonde hair that he adored, it most definitely looked soft enough to pet and Changbin couldn't help but wonder if one day he'd ever get the chance. Lastly, he looked to his left where the lonely boy sat. Why he almost instantly started caring for this boy was unknown to him, why he instantly started caring for all of the boys. He wanted to protect them with his whole heart and soul even though he'd only known them a day. The feeling was all too new and scary to him. He shook this from his head, turning his attention back to Felix. As he took in the boys features, the freckles dotting his face, his plump lips, the way his eyes shone as he was talking to his friends. He felt so much joy, so happy he had the chance to get to know this boy. But he was _very_ afraid. Each amazing feature he took in, a new doubt was added to his head, a new hatred for who he was. He was gay, he'd known this for a long time. But he'd never fully accepted it, never fully accepted himself. He'd never admit to it, and he'd most certainly never let himself give in to any of his feelings. So the small boy closed his eyes and took another deep breath. This was the beginning of something, what... He didn't know yet. But he was oddly happy to be able to be apart of it. He decided, for now, he'd just enjoy this time and worry about it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly really proud of this chapter. Internalized hate is something I've personally dealt with in the past, especially about my sexuality and gender. But I've worked past that and I really want to show that change within Changbin within this fic. 
> 
> For anyone who struggles with hating themself, for any reason, please remember you are important. It's better to accept your flaws and be happy than worry about something you can't change. You're who you are for a reason, so why change what's supposed to be (unless it will 100% make you happier) Just know that you can be you and happy at the same time.


	4. Snowfall In August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung feels trapped in life and feels even if he left life he would somehow mess it up too. He needs air, so he goes on a three-hour walk. He thinks he made a mistake in that time and is heavily upset with himself. So when someone calls him, he gives his location. He spends time with the boy, and slowly comes around to the idea that he deserves to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - There is subtle suicidal ideation in this chapter. It isn't outright stated but it is pretty obvious where it is. This Chapter deals heavily with Panic Attacks and Anxiety, also parents divorcing is briefly mentioned as it is part of Jisung's storyline. 
> 
> This Chapter is Jisung-Centric as we find out what he has been going through and worries for the coming weeks. 
> 
> I tried to do spacing within this chapter to split the text up some, so I decided to experiment. Throughout this chapter, there will be sentenced in Italics that separate certain parts of the text. These sentences are Jisungs' thoughts! Any sentence in the middle of paragraphs that is in italics is what he is thinking at the moment. 
> 
> I would also like to take a moment to explain the snow. I know August is wayyyy too early for snow like is described in the story. But that is why I made it such a big part of this chapter. The snow represents Jisung, it falls more when he is very anxious, and slows when he feels more okay. It fell so early because Jisung is going through one of the hardest parts of his life right now, and I felt the snow was quite needed in that respect. Jisung likes snow when he isn't in a good mindset, because without even realizing it the snow puts him in a WORSE mindset. The snow itself hurts him mentally, but he feels more at peace around it.

**Snowfall In August**

August 22

Thursday

4 Days before school

**17:26**

Jisung could hear his phone ringing, but he kept ignoring it in favor of trying to get his breathing back under control. It was so loud, everything was so  _ loud _ . The sound around him was so overbearing he thought he might just drop and die right there from the pain in his head. It had been three days since the group chat began, and two days since he got his dorm assignment. Right now everything was just too much for him, he felt like he was drowning in every new thing that came up. 

  
  


_ Everything was too much. _

  
  


First, his parents tell him they’re sending him off to boarding school. Then a month later his parents announce they’re getting divorced. Now he's living with his dad in a brand new place. Everything has just been too overwhelming, and he no longer had the capacity to only think about one thing at a time. Right now he was curled up on the floor next to his bed, digging his nails into his palms. He was trying so hard to do his breathing exercises, he  _ knows _ his breathing exercises. But everything was dripping into his thoughts making a lake full of worries he didn't want to drown in at the moment. Boarding school, his parents divorcing, and now having to make new friends. Yea, being able to talk to those friends before he had to meet them in person was a relief. But he was so worried things would change already even just having met each other. What if they were all different people in person? What if everyone ended up hating each other? 

  
  


_ What if they ended up hating him? _

  
  


He couldn't handle that thought, He couldn't handle any of this. He couldn't control his breathing. He couldn't control anything, he was being consumed by his thoughts. Very quickly Jisung was up to his feet putting his coat on. “S-shoes.” he said to himself, he was frantically looking around his room, his shoes nowhere to be seen. He needed air, he swore he would suffocate in that room if he didn't get outside within the next minute. Under the bed? All he found was dust bunnies. In his closet? Just his clothes. Behind his bedroom door? A broom. Jisung couldn't breathe, he couldn't focus, and now he couldn't find his shoes. All of his problems were piling up on him and this problem just decided to go off the highest diving board and jump right on top of that pile. The room was spinning and all he knew right now was he needed to be outside. He decided if he couldn't find his shoes downstairs he’d just leave the house without them, so barreling down the stairs he went. And right in front of his face there his shoes lay, neatly placed on the mat next to the door. He made sure he had his phone and his headphones, quickly slipped his shoes on and finally he was out the door. He took a deep breath and started walking. 

  
  


_ It’s so cold out. I like the cold. _

  
  


He didn't know where he was going, and he honestly didn't care. He just wanted to leave his dad's house behind him for the time being, he wanted to leave his problems behind. Being outside let him feel free. He could feel the cold air against his face, he could feel his body reacting to the weather. How his hands stiffened ever so slightly when he pulled his gloves off. The way his cheeks felt so warm against the cold. How his eyes dried quicker than usual. So many reactions he couldn't control, yet these reactions where comforting instead of scaring him. Jisung liked these changes, the changes that came as winter closed in. He liked the cold, he liked the snow. It was peaceful for him. So as a small flurry started to fall around him he didn't mind, just kept on his path to nowhere. At this moment Jisung had forgotten all of his previous worries. He was content with just being in this moment. 

  
  


_ Finally, silence.  _

  
  


The snow falling around him had made the lake in his mind freeze over and now he was gliding over all of his worries. He felt frozen in time, and for Jisung that was a good thing. He enjoyed the way the cold felt, he enjoyed being free. And as he skated across the lake of worries in his mind his focus was on one thing - himself. Who he wanted to be and how he could get there. But then just a quickly as the lake froze over, the ice dissolved and suddenly he was drowning again. He hadn't expected his phone to ring again, especially the ringing leading to him finding out it wasn't someone texting him but someone  _ calling _ him. He quickly ignored the call, not even bothering to look at the ID. He was scared of who would call him now, what the person on the other line would say. As all of the anxious thoughts in his mind circled around him he felt as if he would faint, maybe he’d fall to the ground and be suffocated by a blanket of snow atop him. For some reason, the thought was oddly comforting to Jisung. He knew it shouldn't be, but all that was on his mind was how it would feel to be covered by the snow, a new tomb of darkness formed just for him and his heart rate slowed. He thought it would be peaceful and in the back of his mind, he  _ wanted _ it to happen. Jisung was focused on the snow, focused on the soft way it landed on the ground. He wondered what it would be like to fall so slowly from the sky, what kind of view the snowflakes have as they fall to the earth. Jisung wanted to float too. He wanted to be high in the sky away from every problem that has ever plagued him. Away from his parents, away from this new school, away from - his new friends… The people he was scared of most right now. 

  
  


_ I can’t stand being scared anymore! _

  
  


For the past three hours of walking Jisung could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket like crazy, whether it was texts, calls, or a mixture of both he didn't know. But he couldn't help wondering if they were worried about him. If that’s why his phone had been going off so much. Were they scared because they couldn't get in contact with him? Oh god, what had he done? He knew just ignoring his phone like that for that long would not result in anything good. He quickly bit down on his gloved hand, ripping the glove off as fast as he could. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. As the screen lit up Jisung had started crying. He’d only met these people days ago but he’s already abandoned them. How bad of a person could he be? He felt even worse as he saw he had received texts from all of the boys asking if he was okay, and multiple calls from them. Everyone was worried about him, he’d made them worry for his own selfish reasons. You’re supposed to  _ be there _ for your friends, even just to talk to them. And he hadn't done that, he’d gone on a walk and ignored his friends completely.

  
  


_ Why am I so selfish?! _

  
  


Through his locationless walk, he had ended up at a park he’d never seen before. He knew he needed to sit down, he knew he was crying and not breathing right so he just needed to sit down somewhere, anywhere. As soon as he saw the swings Jisung ran to them, letting himself collapse into the seat. He was crying hard, making noises he couldn't control. Scrolling through the group chat made it even worse, everyone had been so worried. They were texting and texting about if anyone had heard from him today, if something had happened to him. So when his phone once again started ringing he answered it as quick as he could, forgetting for a second he was crying. “I-im sorry! I didn’t answer I’m so sorry. I worried everyone.” He choked out. Jisung was sobbing, he could barely talk in between the cries coming out of his mouth. He just wanted to disappear and stop being a burden on everyone. He wanted to stop being so immature and stop being so dissolved from life he couldn't ever focus on the moment. He just wanted to stop worrying all the time. He wanted to stop being so  _ alone. _

  
  


_ Someone’s talking to me... I don't have to be alone. _

  
  


So when a voice Jisung couldn't recognize spoke through the phone asking where he was he quickly gave the name of the park he was at. As soon as the voice hung up, claiming he was coming to get Jisung, he checked the contact name. “C-chan… but…” Jisung couldn't understand why Chan would be coming to get him. He couldn't understand why his new friends were so worried. He couldn't understand anything anymore. Jisung was still crying, but no longer sobbing. His breaths were not as shallow. He could breathe. Breathing was good, he knew this. He had to breathe to live, but what if he didn't want to? The familiar thought of being buried underneath a blanket of snow returned to his mind. He wondered who would find him if that happened, would they be sad? Would they be angry that he made them see him in that state? All he wanted to do was disappear, and he felt that even if he did he would somehow manage to screw it up just like everything else. He knew he was a fuck-up, he knew he was good for nothing. He wanted to stop being so useless, so hopeless. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't even know what that meant anymore. 

  
  


_ What am I doing here? _

  
  


Soon the ground was filling up heavily with snow and all he wanted to do was sink in. He was still crying, still so hopeless. Then he felt a pair of arms grabbing him from behind, and all that made him do was cry harder. Someone had started caring about him, the sad boy who hid behind jokes. Caring about the boy who never much cared to get to know other people because he didn't even know himself. “W-why am I so broken!” He yelled out in frustration as he let himself sink into the other boys affection. Chan had come around to face Jisung, kneeling in front of him. “You aren't broken, Monkey.” Jisung looked at Chan, and he was looking back at him. Why did Chan care so much for him? Why did Jisung feel so happy when he heard that stupid nickname Chan had given him just a day earlier. 

  
  


_ I’m so pitiful. _

  
  


“Why don’t we get out of the cold? Let’s go get some food, hm? I’ll pay.” And with that Chan had grabbed Jisungs hand, softly leading him off the swing and to the car. Jisung was grateful Chan had opened the passenger side for him, as his hands were shaking so bad he didn't think he could do it himself. He was still crying, but he felt at ease with Chan by his side. They drove in silence, all except for the sound of Jisung crying. All he could think about was how broken he was, and now someone he barely even knew was seeing a side of him he’d never let anyone else see. What was wrong with him, why was  _ he _ so wrong. The entire ride he was looking down at his hands, he tried to keep them firmly in place, but all he was doing was shaking more. He felt stupid. He knew he was feeling worse and worse and he just let himself get bad again. He had gone through these feelings before when he was younger, but he went to therapy and got them managed. Now everything was getting bad again and he let it. He let himself get bad again, and he couldn’t stand himself for that.

  
  


_ Why does anyone care about someone who can’t even care about himself? _

  
  


Suddenly he was jerked out of thought as the car abruptly stopped. He didn’t care to look where they were, he just knew that he was hungry and needed comfort and right now Chan was offering both of those things. So Jisung shakily put his hand around the handle and opened the door. He had forgotten how cold it was outside compared to the warmth of the car, and suddenly he hated the cold. He has always loved the cold, but right now it just made him feel even more overwhelmed. He couldn’t breathe again, he wanted it all to stop. He wanted the snow to go away. He tried to focus on his breathing, he was trying so hard, but his chest just wouldn’t raise enough to get a decent breath. So when Chan started couching him through a breathing exercise there weren’t words for how grateful he was. Chan was standing in front of him, once again kneeling in the snow. Jisung let his head lean onto the boy as he focused on his breathing and the sound of Chan’s voice as he counted the seconds for Jisung. Once again Jisung was crying, but with Chan’s help, they got his breathing to a stable point. Chan had laced his fingers with Jisung, slowly dragging him up from the seat of the car and leading him into the restaurant. Jisung didn’t know where they were, he was just glad he wasn’t alone. 

  
  


_ I don’t deserve this. _

  
  


Quickly they were seated, and Jisung sat on the same side as Chan so as to be close to him during the meal. The waiter came, and both boys ordered a meal. They ate in silence, Chan’s hand intertwined with Jisungs the entire meal. The silence wasn’t awkward or frustrating, it was comforting. It was comforting to know that they both had someone who understood, who they could be with without worrying about saying something wrong. Soon the plates were empty, and their bellies were full. Chan looked over at Jisung, frowning at how worried the boy looked. Jisung knew he had to go home at some point, and right now that was scaring him the most over anything.

  
  


_ I can’t face Dad right now... _

  
  


“You know,” Chan spoke softly. “We can have a sleepover at my house if you want?” Jisung looked at Chan’s face, trying to study it for any sign of this being a joke. “W-why would you want me at a sleepover?” Jisung felt Chan’s hand tighten softly around his, and this subtle act of affection made him blush heavily as he looked down at his feet. “Because Monkey,” Chan reached his fingers under Jisungs chin, slowly picking his face up to meet his own. “I want to get to know you better, and you don’t seem like you’re in a good mindset to be alone right now. I just…” Chan paused, looking down at the way their fingers crossed with each other. He couldn’t help but love how cold Jisungs hand was against his own. “I want to keep you safe.” 

  
  


_ Someone Cares. _

  
  


Chan hadn’t looked up from their hands, and Jisung couldn’t tell if this was some sick joke or the boy in front of him actually meant it. Jisung squeezed Chan’s hand softly, hoping he would understand that it meant he would be there for him too. And Chan did understand, he looked up at Jisung with a soft smile. For the first time in years, Jisung felt happy. He felt good where he was, he didn’t feel scared. He didn’t feel scared to meet the rest of the boys on Monday. He didn’t feel scared that he would have to face school by himself anymore. Jisung was happy, and he hoped this feeling would be here to stay. 

_ I deserve this. I deserve to feel happy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was honestly hard for me to write, but im glad I did it. I felt that Jisung would be the one out of all of the boys to express the most outward anxiety, that while he hides behind jokes through a screen it would be much harder for him to hide it in person. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think about the thoughts as spacers for text. I definitely won't use this idea for every chapter but I thought it fit in well with this chapter.


	5. Song Of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan has PTSD, he knows this. But he didn't expect to start having an episode while Jisung was there. How will he deal with his flashbacks? How will Jisung get him to calm down? And the most important question, will there be cuddles?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - Talk of flashbacks, brief descriptions of childhood trauma, anxiety
> 
> I apologize for the long wait on this chapter. I literally could not write it for a few days. But it's finally here, and it's my longest chapter yet (Minus the first chapter of Chat fic, which I don't really think counts considering each line was a different part of dialogue).
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. As someone who struggles with PTSD and Anxiety, I really try to use my own experiences to bring a realness to these chapters. I know the struggle of flashbacks and how events you didn't expect to happen or even ones that you did but didn't think they'd be that triggering can affect you. It's hard to get your mind to a safe place and get your body to come down from alert mode. I tried to encompass that in this chapter.
> 
> This chapter is a Chan-centric storyline but Jisung is in pretty much all of it, and some sections are from his point of view. I know it might be a bit confusing and im trying to figure out a better system for it all because I've never written something like this, so im sorry if it gets a bit fuzzy or hard to follow in some places.
> 
> Also, there's a lot of JiChan in this chapter because im a sucker for it, and some JiChan fluff at the end to calm the burning sadness of your heart after this sad-ass chapter. 
> 
> So here you are, at last, Song Of Hope.

**Song Of Hope**

August 22

Thursday

4 Days before school

**21:00**

Chan stared into the side mirror, he was completely lost inside his own mind. When Jisung finally answered one of the many calls he had received from the boys Chan did not expect to hear him crying on the other line. They didn’t want to seem overbearing but the day before Jisung had briefly described how bad he had been feeling to the boys, so of course, everyone was worried about him when no one heard from him for over 24 hours. He was worried for the boy sitting in the passenger seat of his car. He knew Jisung seemed out of it, he seemed unhappy. Chan couldn’t help but wonder just how far that unhappiness went. Jisung just didn’t seem to want to  _ be _ anymore. He knew he couldn’t leave the boy alone right now, even if he was at home. 

  
  
  


Home was another thing that seemed to plague Jisung, as soon as Chan brought up the prospect of driving Jisung home, the boy immediately looked overwhelmed again. He wondered what kinds of things were happening in Jisung’s life, He wondered why the boy seemed to be so anxious all of the time. Though he knew anxiety isn’t an easy thing to control as he has it himself. As soon as he realized how bad Jisung really was, he knew he needed to protect him. So now here they are in Chans red mini-van, driving to Chan’s house for a sleepover. 

  
  
  


In the two years he had lived here with his mom, he had never once brought a friend home. His mom would always ask about the boys he met at school - if he liked any of them, if she would ever meet one of his friends. He supposed today would be the day she finally would. Chan was focused on the road, and Jisung was focused on Chan. Once again they were in comfortable silence with each other, each having something they wanted to say but neither knowing how. But they both knew that was okay, they knew that the other understood that there was something on their mind. So as they turned onto Chan’s street the blonde spoke up, “You know if you ever need to like… get anything out, I’ll be around to listen.” Jisung looked at Chan with stars in his eyes “D-do you mean that?” He could see the mistrust in the others face, like he didn’t fully believe what the older had just said. “I do, Monkey. If you need a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, a hand to hold, I’ll be here.” By now they had reached the driveway of the Bangs house.

  
  
  


Jisung looked at the house quizzingly. It definitely wasn’t what he was expecting by any means. It looked slightly run down, the baby blue paint was all but chipped away from the house. Half of the shingles on the roof had fallen off, now randomly scattered throughout the yard. The white paint framing the windows had large chunks gone, and even where there was paint it was now an off-tone light grey color. The railings on either side of the three steps to the porch just looked shaky, and the stairs themselves looked like they would collapse under-foot. Jisung didn’t mind it by any means, not every house was perfect, and not everyone had the money to fix every problem a house has. But looking at Chan, the nice clothes he wore and how nicely groomed he was, this was far from what he pictured the Bangs house looking like.

  
  
  


Chan had come around to the passenger side, opening the door for the younger. He held his hand out, and Jisung gladly accepted it, their fingers once again interlocking. The pair walked to the door and Chan let go of Jisungs hand to get his keys out. Right as he was about to put his keys in the lock the door opened to reveal what Jisung could only assume to be Chan’s mother. She looked surprised, studying the boy beside her son. “Sweetie! Did you finally bring one of your friends around? Or maybe boyfriend?!” She winked in Jisungs direction and laughed. “Mama… This is Jisung, He’s one of my  _ friends _ . He’s gonna spend the night tonight.” Ms. Bang looked ecstatic, to say the least, she started swinging back and forth on her feet, a wide smile spread across her thin face. Jisung took a second to take in the sight, which was quite odd to him. Chan looked nothing like his mom. Ms. Bang was short, standing only at 5’2. She had a slim frame and high cheekbones, along with dirty-blonde hair. Her eyes were large and bright blue, which contrasted drastically with Chan’s dark brown. Jisung also noted how she looked quite young for a mother, he thought that Ms. Bang and Chan could pass for siblings if they really wanted to. She slowly got closer to the boy, taking his hand in hers. “Im happy to have you stay here tonight, and if you need anything during the night my door is always open! I’ve never met one of Chan’s friends before so if you’d let me I’d like to get to know you. Find out what kind of people my son hangs out with.” She gave a polite smile, and Jisung gave a weak one in return.

  
  
  


It was almost heartbreaking for the young boy. It had been months since he’d seen his own mother, she was kept busy with work and the divorce proceedings. Now he and his father had moved far away from her and Jisung had no clue when he would see her next. He was glad Chan had a caring mother to be with, someone who wanted to know what his life was like. Slowly Jisung had started panicking again, and Chan could tell. The younger boy was digging his nails into his palms, so Chan took one of Jisungs hands and squeezed it. “We’re gonna head up to my room mama.” Chan stated, he walked them past her as soon as she cleared the doorway. “Okay, let me know if you two need anything!” They heard her shout from downstairs.

  
  
  


Chan got Jisung situated on his bed. The boy looked tired, like he hadn’t gotten a proper rest in months and Chan figured that might actually be the case. So when Jisung yawned Chan suggested he get some sleep soon. He rummaged through his closet looking for something that would fit the much smaller boy sitting on his bed. “Are you okay with a sweater and some shorts?” Chan asked as he pulled out a dark purple sweater that was surely too big for Jisung and a pair of black shorts. “Mhm, thank you for this… I’m sorry for everything.” Jisung said quietly from the bed, once again digging his nails into his palms. “Monkey,” Chan said softly as he made his way over to Jisung. Chan sat down next to the boy, looking into his eyes. “There is absolutely nothing that you have to apologize for. You’ve done nothing wrong, and it’s okay to not feel okay all of the time.” The blonde took the youngers' hand in his, prying his fingers from his palm and placing his own fingers in between.

  
  
  


Jisung smiled up at Chan, a few tears falling down his cheek. Chan whipped them off with his thumb, finally placing his hand over Jisungs cheek. The brunette leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and enjoying the affection he most definitely wasn’t used to. The boys sat like that for a minute, just happy to not be alone. They were holding hands while Chan had his hand resting on Jisungs cheek. He took it in for a second, the sight of the tired boy. How his hair seemed to always fall over his eyes, and how Jisung constantly pushed it away. The way the light was shining against his skin. The way he was leaning into his touch, how the boys cheek felt so cold against his warm hand. They were happy, they were glad they had each other. It seemed like nothing could ruin this moment of bliss between the two. 

  
  
  


And then Chan’s mom knocked. “Sweetie, do you guys want some dinner?” She asked as she entered, her breath almost stopping completely when she saw the two. She let out a quiet “awh” as the boys looked at her, their faces red. “N-no mama, we got some food before we came here…” Chan studdered out. He felt odd, two years of his mom never once meeting one of his friends and now just today shes met one and seen them being affectionate towards each other. If you had asked him even just last week if his mother would know one of his friends soon, he would have said no. But he supposed fate had other intentions, and he knew this was for the best. He knew he wanted to protect the boy his hand still connected him to. He knew he needed protecting too, and Jisung seemed to understand that too, that one of these days he may need to protect Chan just like he’d protected him. “Okay, well Chris can you come to help me with something downstairs for a moment?” Ms. Bang asked while smiling, Seeming to want to ask every question running through her mind right now. 

  
  
  


“Chris?” Jisung was confused. “Oh! I apologize,  _ Chan _ can you come help me?” She corrected herself. Chan looked a bit embarrassed at that name, his cheeks painted a light pink as he looked away from both the people in the room. “Chris is my English name…” He explained to Jisung. “Yea mama ill be down in a minute to help.” He stated, moving back towards his closet to grab the clothes for Jisung. His mother left the room, making sure to close the door as she exited. Chan grabbed the sweater and shorts, laying them on the bed next to Jisung. “You can use my bathroom to change if you’d like.” He said, pointing towards a bland white door on the other side of the room. “This shouldn’t take too long, I’ll be right back.” The blonde smiled down towards the small boy sitting on his bed, starting to step towards the door. Jisung reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him. Chan turned around quickly, looking down at the boy. He was looking down towards his feet, seemingly lost in thought. “T-thank you… You didn’t have to come get me. You didn’t have to take me to dinner. You didn’t have to bring me back to your house. But you did so… Thank you.” Jisung chirped out quickly. He was shaking, obviously nervous. Chan smiled, though he knew the brunette couldn’t see it. He reached into his pocket with his free hand and grabbed his phone out, placing it on the bed next to Jisung as he moved to another part of the room. Chan opened a drawer and Jisung wondered what he was doing, and why he hadn’t said a word back to him. He slightly understood more as Chan pulled out a pair of headphones. He connected them to his phone, the screen lite up his face and he was searching for something on the device. He leaned down, putting the earbuds in Jisungs ears. Softly at first, a song started to play.

  
  
  


Jisung couldn’t help but smile as he recognized the voice. It was Chan, he was singing. He pulled out one of the earbuds, looking up at the blonde in front of him. “It’s you!” He shouted. Chan nodded his head, laughing. “The playlist is my songs, my music. You’re anxious again so I thought maybe my voice could help you calm down some while im gone.” Jisung didn’t know what to say, this boy was perfect. He was so kind even when he didn’t need to be. He was thoughtful and did all he could to help someone he barely even knew. Jisung thought maybe he was in heaven. Or maybe this was a cruel trick by the gods to get him to trust someone again. Maybe this would turn out like all his other friendships, him getting broken apart piece by piece and not knowing how to put himself back together. He hoped this was real, he hoped this was genuine. He wanted to have a friend so bad, and he didn’t know what he’d do if he was broken again. He decided that until he had reason to think otherwise (a good reason, that was!) This friendship was totally real, he trusted Chan. 

  
  
  


Chan left Jisung with his music and headed downstairs. He had no clue what his mom could possibly need help with and she never felt the need to fix anything in or around the house. He had offered many times to call someone or even fix some stuff up himself, but his mom says the disrepair "adds character." So a broken-down mess it would stay. Plus Chan was gone half the year at school anyway, so there wasn't much sense in fixing it up when the only person who didn't like it this way was never home. He had descended the stairs, the last squish of my sneakers sinking into the hardwood floor. "Mama what did you need?" He said as he walked into the kitchen. This is the one room that's always remained nice. The dark green walls were always clean as where the multiple frames that dotted the wall. There were pictures of everything from little Ms. Bang to now almost adult Chan. He always admired how much his mother cared about her cooking, even during the times she was so sad, she still cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for her family. She had so many recipes Chan couldn't remember half of them and he wondered how his mother could. He assumed she had them all submitted to memory since he had never once seen her she a cook-book. Next, he looked over the stove, the steel so clean he could see his reflection. Memories flashed of when his Mom tried to teach him and his little sister how to bake cookies, the smell of burnt dough returning to his nose. He made a nauseous face as he laughed the memory away. 

  
  
  


He heard his mother come up behind him, and he turned around to face her. She smiled wide at him, holding her hand out for him take. Chan looked at her, questioning the gesture which he knew she only did for two reasons. The first if she’s concerned about something, thinks something may be wrong in Chan’s life that he may need help with. She always told her son she was there for him if he needed help, but Chan has always had problems asking for help. So she always held her hand out when she wanted to talk to him about something, she said its to help him feel more comfortable and to know to prepare himself for the conversation that is about to come up. 

  
  
  


On the second occasion, his mom brings out the "grab my hand and come sit with me for a second" act was when she wanted to ask him something about his life. Usually, it was serious topics such as grades or when she was suspecting he was gay, but there have been occasions she's used it to talk about good things happening. This time though, Chan was on edge. He knew this would probably be about the brunette that was sitting in his room upstairs. He knew she would want to know a lot about him, he knew she could keep him down here for hours talking about him.

  
  


After all, this was the first time she'd ever met one of her sons’ friends, no matter how short the greeting was. Chan honestly didn't know what he was going to say to any of her questions, he'd only known the boy three days himself. But he knew they couldn't be avoided and he'd at least have to humor her for a while. 

  
  


So he grabbed her hand, it was small and Chan’s hand all but swallowed her hand whole. She guided him to the kitchen table. This was usually where they had their talks, and that was this tables only purpose. On the rare times Chan hadn't grabbed dinner before getting home they would eat in the living room while watching TV. So there they sat at the neglected table, staring at each other for a few minutes. Chan could see his mother's frown furrow like she was thinking of the questions she wanted to ask first. He was concerned, he was scared. He knew this was something they'd have to talk about eventually. He knew his mother probably had some… okay, a lot of questions about this. Two years of Chan not even talking about his friends and out of nowhere he brings one home. On top of that, the boy was obviously anxious, almost shaking out of his shoes. Chan was also very touchy and affectionate with him, holding his hand and holding him close while they hugged. His mother had seen all of this, absorbed it with her own two eyes and he figured she probably didn't know what to make of the situation. 

  
  
  


Chan had begun picking at the already beat-up round table, picking away at what was left of the blue paint that once decorated its surface. He couldn't look at his mother, that was until she finally spoke up. "Tiki… is he your boyfriend?" She asked calmly. He looked at her in shock while she had a firm and serious look on her face. "M-mama no! I've just met him three days ago and he needed some help so I brought him back. Were just friends and that's all." He stuttered out quickly. Chan knew she would be asking questions, and he knew she would ask that one eventually, but that definitely wasn't the first thing he expected to come out of her mouth. She looked at her hands for a moment, taking in the information he had just given her. “Is he a good boy? I mean you said you’ve only known him three days so how well do you really know him? Where did you meet him? And why is he so anxious, It doesn't seem healthy?” She said quickly, she was still looking down at her hands. Chan could tell she was scared asking all of these questions, he also knew she didn’t expect all of the answers today, she never has when they have these talks. Often times when she sits him down here she asks him questions, then sends him on his way. It gives him time to think about his answers, it makes him more comfortable because he isn't rushed for time, he doesn't have to think of something right away. 

  
  
  


But he also knew this time was different. This was an active situation, the boy they were talking about was sitting upstairs in  _ Chans room! _ This wasn't something he could take a few days to think over. He honestly didn’t know what to say, he couldn't even think of something to say. He knew this was a bit of a messed up situation, he knew he sprung all of this on his poor mother without even so much as a warning. But he also didn’t think she’d react like this. He figured she’d be too excited to finally meet one of his friends she wouldn't even question it. But obviously that didn’t happen. He looked at his mom, almost seeing the small amount of frustration in her glare and she looked up at him for only a moment. She was… angry with him? His mother never gets angry, she's always known how to keep her cool. But this, this entire situation, she looked furious to him. She looked up at him again, this time holding the stare. Then suddenly there was a flash in his vision and he could hear the distant voices of his past. 

  
  
  
  


_ “Chris!” The boy heard his father screaming from his room, but he didn't want to move, didn't want to see him. At the ripe age of 14, his father assumed his son was an adult. He had made him get a job working at the old sawmill his friend owned. He had not been attending school because of the long hours, and up until this moment his dad hadn't said a word about it, mostly because he didn't know. He expected Chan to go to school and work at the mill for 8-10 hours a day. But Chan knew today was the day; report cards came in. “Chris!” His father had shouted once more. Suddenly the young boy was on his feet running down the stairs. He stood up straight, making sure he was directly behind his father. “Y-yes, sir?” He said squeamishly. He checked himself over quickly, having to check that he was wearing the mandatory dark blue shorts and grey tank top. Though he didn’t know how he could be wearing anything else considering that was the only type of clothing his father bought him. He straightened his feet out, fitting them firmly next to each other. He was scared, he knew he couldn't get out of this one, he knew what was coming next. But no matter how many times it had happened he couldn't prepare himself for the *Slap* that inevitably hit him. “What the FUCK is wrong with you, you little brat! I taught you better fucking bitch! Failing all of your classes, I'm not even going to let you try to talk your way out of this! You get an extra beating tonight go to your room and get the belt ready!” His father screamed out at him. A simple “Y-yes, sir.” slipped out of the young boys mouth as another slap sent him flying to the ground.  _

  
  
  


Chan was on the floor, all of the energy suddenly taken out of him. His breathing was frantic, even wheezing as he took in the shallow breath. He could hear his father screaming, whether he was seeing those memories or not. He could feel himself getting hit. He guided his arms around his chest quickly, he couldn't breathe. 

  
  


_ “Papa stop!” The boy cried out.  _

  
  


Before he knew it, he had started crying. It wasn't loud, Chan didn’t know how to cry loudly. No, this crying was deathly silent, one of the many skills he had to learn to live with his father. His mother approached him slowly, but he paid no attention to her, his eyes firmly fixed to the wood paneling beneath him. He couldn't get the voice out of his head, couldn't get the pain to stop. He didn't want to feel it anymore, didn't want to be there anymore. No matter how many times he kept telling himself he was safe it didn't work, nothing ever worked. When this happened he just had to wait it out but he couldn't do it. He was so tired of it, so tired of remembering. 

  
  
  


Before he had time to think Chan had stood up, quickly running up the stairs. He had made it to his room, quickly rushing past his bed and into the bathroom. He locked the door, letting himself sink against it. He was still crying, and in his daze, he had completely forgotten about the boy sitting on his bed. Said boy was staring confusingly at the bathroom door, still having music playing in his ears. He didn’t know what was happening, was Chan distressed? Did he just have to take a massive shit? Jisung didn’t know, so gently he took out the headphones stuffed in his ears. And that's when he heard it, sobbing. Chan was crying, Chan was crying in his bathroom after running past him. The brunette quickly stood and walked over to the door. “C-channie?” He called out quietly. He didn’t want to scare him any more than he already was. He heard a quick inhale, had he forgotten Jisung was there? The crying had ceased, but there was still no response from the other side of the door. Jisung leaned down some, then let himself slide down it. He took in a deep breath.

  
  
  
  


“Care Bear…” Jisung had used the nickname he sweetly gave Chan two days prior. “Care Bear are you okay? Is…” He paused for a moment, not sure if he should ask the question. “Is there anything you want to talk about?” The brunette held his breath, waiting a few seconds. Still no reply, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to help but he knew he needed to. This was the boy who had just helped him, almost a complete stranger still, and offered him a place to stay during the night. He  _ needed _ to help him. Chan had started crying again, memories of bad times past still flooding through his mind. Trying to hide the sobs so angrily escaping his mouth with his sleeve. The blonde pressed his back harder against the door, he needed to ground, needed relief, but none was to be found in that bathroom. Chan wanted to scream, he wanted to scream his heart out until his voice was no longer and the memories went away. 

  
  
  


Suddenly he had stopped crying, and he wasn't sure why. His ears were processing the sound before his brain, and a few moments later he was amazed at the reason.  _ His song. This was his song.  _ But it wasn't his voice. It was the first song on his playlist, one he had made years prior to now. He listened closely, admiring the soft tone of the voice singing it. “ _ Who the hell am I supposed to be, just tree sap to be collected?” _ The voice rang out. He didn’t know what to think, didn’t know how to feel.  _ “Take me for who I am, Or lose me for who I’m not. The choice is yours.” _ He listened in. His breathing was stable, falling along to the beat of the song. His eyes started watering, but this time it wasn't sadness. Someone was singing  _ his _ song for him. Someone was trying to cheer him up with the very song that made him make his life better in the first place, the first song that inspired him.  _ “The light in my eyes, the spark in my bones. None of that will ever change, I’ll be a shining star till time ends.” _ He was happy, he was calm. This was his song. This was him, his emotions, his feelings. His bad times all combined into lyrics. He closed his eyes as the last of the lyrics were sung.  _ “Tell me who you are, I still won’t change. I’m me till time ends.” _

  
  
  


He took in a deep breath, He was calm now. He took a minute to think, not many people knew that song. Then he remembers. He had once more forgotten about the boy, they sat in silence for a few minutes before he started singing.  _ Jisung _ was the one singing. Chan smiled at himself, standing quickly. His “Song Of Hope” as he had titled it, quite appropriate at the time it was written, and the title still holds true now. The blonde took in a deep breathe, examining himself in the mirror for a moment.

  
  
  


His eyes were bloodshot, a light red staining his otherwise perfect skin around his eyes. There was a small ball of red liquid oozing from his lip, he had bit it so hard trying to conceal his cries he started bleeding. His hands were still shaking. He looked like a mess, but it was okay. _ He was okay _ . He turned the sink on, taking some of the water into his hands so he could splash his face. He brought the water up, it abruptly hit his skin. He flinched at it, the cold water sinking into his warm skin. His cheeks were flushed, he knew. He stood straight for a moment, arms tucked tightly at his sides.  _ He was okay _ . He turned towards the door.  _ He was fine _ . Slowly he stepped towards the bland white door.  _ He could face this _ . His breath hitched as he reached for the handle, tightening his hand around the cold metal. He suddenly exhaled as he opened the door, his eyes finding their way to Jisungs. They stared, and stared, and then stared some more. Jisung was blushing, never having sung for anyone, he would only sing when he was only. Chan’s face was red, though his was red from crying. The blonde reached forward, his hand gripping onto Jisungs sweater. He pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around the small boy. “T-thank you…” His voice was shaky, he was still breathing slightly shallow breathes. Jisung hugged him back, sinking his face into the tallers shirt. 

  
  
  


He rubbed circles into Chans back, trying to soothe him more. Jisung laced their fingers together, leading Chan to the bed. They sat together, just holding hands, they were both silently looking at each other. The brunette smiled, and Chan's heart fluttered. The blonde smiled, and Jisungs heart did leaps. They were content with being with each other, being in silence. They understood. 

  
  
  


“You should change… we should get some sleep.” Jisung simply nodded, standing to grab the cloths given to him earlier and heading into the bathroom. Chan breathed in deep, he felt in over his head. He had never had flashbacks like that in front of anyone other than his mom. He was glad Jisung was there, but also terrified. No one had ever seen him like that, no one had ever heard him crying.  _ No one had ever sung to him _ . He smiled, then exhaled. Soon the small boy had stepped out of the bathroom, absolutely engulfed in the sweater Chan had given him. 

  
  
  


“You look cute!” He said, simply stating the facts. Jisung blushed, heading over to the bed. “Are we… both gonna sleep here tonight?” Chan nodded, his eyes following every movement the smaller made. “If you’re okay with that, that is? I mean it’s not like we have to cuddle or anything it’s just I really don’t want you to have to sleep on the couch tonight.” He spoke quickly, trying to explain himself. He didn’t want to come off as creepy or like he was trying to get something from Jisung. He turned his head away for a moment, a light dusting of pink spread across his already red face. The brunette just simply laid now under the blanket, pulling a chunk of it close to his face. He smiled as he said, “We can cuddle if you want, Care Bear.” Chan almost died, his heart was beating so fast. He sat still for a moment before heading to get changed. 

  
  
  


When he walked back the blonde slipped underneath the covers, inching towards Jisung. “Do you want to cuddle?” The others response was to simply turn over and nuzzle his face into Chan's chest, gripping at the fabric of his shirt gently. Chan wrapped his arm around Jisung, pulling him a bit closer as he rested his chin on the boys head.

  
  
  


“Good night, Monkey.” Chan whispered.

  
  
  
  


“Good night, Care Bear.” Is what he heard back as his eyes closed and dreams started forming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Crash and Burn (Woojins story) should come out within the next few days, and if it's been more than a week please yell at me to update. I'm really trying to work on my writing skills more so these chapters are enjoyable and I apologize for this one, I know the POV can get confusing in some places but I honestly have no clue how to fix it at this moment because at those parts I can't remove anything as it would change the story too much. Stay tuned!


	6. Crash and Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woojin deals with a lot. Recently he went through something traumatic and for the first time since it happened he has to face reality. The boys are going to meet for breakfast, but it doesn't go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - Brief flashbacks, talk of death of parents, talk of car crash, panic attacks, ignoring trauma
> 
> This chapter is Woojin-centric as we discover the reason he lives in YellowWood now. He struggles but eventually realizes its time for a change.

**Crash And Burn**

August 23

Friday

3 days until school

**9:00**

**Just A Study Group**

  
  


_Mom_ : Did everyone eat breakfast?

_TheCutest(2)_ : Would you be angry if I said no?

_BigMin_ : Uh… no comment

_Chin_ : Yea, but i'm at work now so I'll text everyone later!

_Mom_ : _@TheCutest_ Did you have breakfast Lovebug?

_Flirt_ : No Wooj I didn’t have breakfast

_Mom_ : Who hasn't answered yet? 

_BigMin_ : _@Insomniac_

_TheCutest(2)_ : _@TheCutest_

_Mom_ : _@Dad @TinyMin_

_TinyMin_ : Sup Nerds

_Flirt_ : Can he just go around calling us nerds…

_TheCutest(2)_ : Sup Precious, how’d you sleep?

_Mom_ : Sweetness have you eaten breakfast yet??

_TinyMin_ : _@Flirt_ of course I can cause you all are

_BigMin has blocked messages from TinyMin for 5 minutes_

_Mom_ : He didn’t answer the question!!

_BigMin_ : Whoops

_TheCutest(2)_ : Seung is gonna punch you for that when he meets you xD

_Flirt_ : You dun fucked up Minho

_Mom_ : *angry mother noises*

_BigMin has unblocked messages from TinyMin_

_TinyMin_ : Rood, and no Woojin I havent eaten breakfast I never do

_Mom_ : Why are Felix and Chan not answering me :-( Has anyone heard from Innie since yesterday?

_TheCutest(2)_ : I was calling with him for a bit yesterday but then he had to go all the sudden

_The Cutest(2)_ : That was the last I heard from him *shrug*

_BigMin_ : Lix is at Chan's house rn 

_Flirt_ : They okay?

_BigMin_ : All Chan said was it was some personal stuff he couldent say 

_TinyMin_ : I hope both of them are okay -,_-

_TheCutest_ : Sorry! Was getting ready for work but _@Mom_ no I haven't cause I woke up late and don't have time

_Mom_ : -_- All of my children except Changbin are useless

_Insomniac_ : LISTEN UP BITCHES I NEED KITHES!!

_TheCutest(2)_ : Ill give you a kith babydoll! Come meet me 

_Dad_ : Too late he didn’t tell me he needed kisses but now I know so imma kiss him 

_Insomniac_ : Not gonna complain about kisses from ChiChi

_Flirt_ : Im sorry _who now_

_BigMin_ : ChiChi is Lix’s nickname for Chan

_TheCutest(2)_ : Raise your hand if youre whipped for Chan

_TheCutest(2)_ : *raises hand*

_BigMin_ : *raises hand*

_Flirt_ : *raises hand*

_TheCutest_ : *raises hand*

_TinyMin_ : *raises hand*

_Mom_ : *raises both hands*

_Flirt_ : _@Chin @Insomniac_ are you whipped for Chan?

_Insomniac_ : Big fucking yes oh my god

_Dad_ : Lix come back upstairs istg! Stop talking to my mom! I need to give you kisses

_TheCutest(2)_ : Chan he probably can't help it your mom is so nice and shes so easy to talk too

_TinyMin_ : When did Felix come over to yours Chan?

_Mom_ : Im sad because I haven't met any of you except Innie and I can’t wait three more days :,-(

_TheCutest(2)_ : We all wanna meet each other Wooj, we will eventually

_Flirt_ : Since none of us have had breakfast, why don’t we meet up and eat together

_Mom_ : Ahhh oh my gosh would everyone wanna do that? Meet before school starts.

_TinyMin_ : Mhm I’d need a ride though

_BigMin_ : I've got three (Maybe four if someone wants to squeeze in) open seats in my car lets do this bitches! Anyone who needs a ride text me your address, first come first serve

_TheCutest(2)_ : yea but Innie and Bin wont be able to come

_Mom_ : oh shit aww I don't want them to feel left out :-( Maybe we should wait for another day

_TheCutest_ : Guess whose work got canceled lmao

_Chin_ : *sigh* One less day of money for me

_BigMin_ : _@TinyMin @Flirt @TheCutest(2)_ omw to yours, getting you all in that order so be ready

_Chin_ : where is everyone meeting at? Me and Bunny will walk over I guess.

_Mom_ : How does everyone feel about Margarets?

_Flirt_ : Yes! Thats the best breakfast place in this town

_TheCutest_ : Shit thats like far from where we work… _@BigMin_ do you have any more space? I’ll sit on someones lap if I gotta

_TinyMin_ : Fucking yes, changbin gets the back with Jin and Sung and youre sittin on my lap Cupcake

_BigMin_ : Yea ill swing by Bellas and pick you guys up, _@TinyMin_ they're stop is before yours so actually you get the back with Bin lmao

_TheCutest(2)_ : Does this mean I get to switch with Innie and have him on my lap because im the last one getting picked up

_Flirt_ : unfair

_TinyMin_ : Bitch

_TheCutest_ : How about I just sit on Changbins lap and Seungie can have the front

_Chin_ : No… Innie you should just take the front…

_Dad_ : Just read up in chat, Me and Lix will head out soon and drive to meet you guys

_Insomniac_ : _@Mom_ How are you getting there? Me and ChiChi can pick you up if you need

_Mom_ : No no please don’t do that, I'm just gonna walk over. It isn't that far from my house…

_Flirt_ : See everyone soon!!

  
  


Woojin knew that was a blatant lie, Margaret's was almost the farthest point from his house possible, but he wasn't about to get in a car. The last time he was in a car terrible things had happened. He tried not to think about it, tried not to blame himself but that never really worked out the way he wanted it to. 

  
  


Woojin quickly shoved his shoes on and said goodbye to his sister as he grabbed his coat. It would take him a while to reach the location, so he better start now. He wondered how everyone would react in person, they’re already pretty chaotic over text so what was this going to be like? He let his mind wander on about what everyone is going to be like in person. He assumed they’d be pretty similar to how each boy is in text, but would anyone be too different? He took the time to think about each boy

  
  


First, he thought about Chan. The blonde that he had an immediate pull too, he instantly fell in love (though he would call it only platonic out loud) His cheeks flushed as he thought about how caring Chan was over text, and he knew the same was true for him across the board considering he’d went and picked up Jisung yesterday when no one had heard from him. Now Felix was over at his house and he could only assume it was for a similar reason as Jisung. He had quickly fallen for the boy and now he was so excited to meet him, he started walking at a quicker pace without even realizing. 

  
  
  


Next on his mind was Minho. While Minho seemed really flirty and scandalous, the conversations he had in private with him were all very sappy and sweet. He loved talking to him as it continuously brought a smile to his face. He had learned a lot about the boy from their talks, and he was looking forward to learning more. He wanted to hug him so badly, considering how much they’d talk about how they each thought the other would be an amazing hugger. His pace quickened some again, now he was engaged in a light speed-walk towards the breakfast restaurant. 

  
  
  


The third boy on his mind was Changbin, the one who didn’t talk much. When he did his words were always short and well-spoken. Woojin knew he didn’t want to be in the group at first, but slowly he seems to be coming around more and more. Just yesterday he and Woojin had a 30-minute conversation about how much they both loved animals and Woojin could tell Changbin was opening up more in the group chat. Even now, when the idea of everyone having breakfast together was brought up, Woojin thought Changbin would just head back to the dorms and wouldn't come. But he was wrong, and now he was going to get to meet him in person. Once more Woojin’s pace got faster, he was so excited he couldn't take it, he had started fidgeting with his sleeves as his smile grew wider. 

  
  
  


Soon after his mind floated to Hyunjin, the biggest flirt of the group. Hyunjin knew how to be careful with his flirting and knew when was the appropriate time for it (most of the time). He also knew how to cheer people up with just a few words, and he loved telling jokes. Woojin smiled, he knew the brunette was quite attractive but he couldn't help it as his mind wandered to just how much more attractive he would be in person. Now Woojin was jogging.

  
  


His thoughts had progressed and now he was thinking of Jisung. The small boy seemed to be quite the jokester, constantly telling some type of joke often labeled to be lame. Woojin always found them funny, and he had made it a point to tell Jisung so every time one of his jokes made him laugh. He wondered if the boy had the same humor in person. He couldn't wait to find out, his pace got faster again.

  
  
  


Felix was the next to fall into his thoughts. The bright smiley boy could make him fall no matter how balanced he was. He was perfect in Woojins eyes, so caring and he seemed composed. He thought Felix deserved the world. Woojin suspected he had had troubles at his home, considering the concerns Changbin voiced to him after he met Felix for the first time. The boy was bruised, and Woojin couldn't help but worry about him after he had heard that. What had happened to him before he moved here? He hoped in the future Felix would be comfortable enough to talk with him about it if he needed to, he didn't want any of the boys to have to face the bad parts of life alone. 

  
  
  


Next was Seungmin. Often Seungmin seemed disinterested in their conversations unless it was one on one. He didn't speak much, but when he did it was usually cheerful and hopeful. He often seemed a bit paranoid to most of the boys, always on edge. Woojin figured it was just the new friend jitters, not knowing if you could trust the new people in your life. He hoped Seungmin would get more trustful of them over time, he really wanted to be friends with the boy. At this point Woojin was running, he was smiling, he was so excited to meet the 7 boys he hadn't yet.

  
  


He had come to stop, waiting to cross the road. Suddenly his mind was on Jeongin. The boy he had met just two months ago. He was quiet with him at first, Woojin had just lost his parents. He tried making friends with some of the people at the program, tried to stop isolating himself like he had been the past month since the accident, but he couldn't face himself, let alone other people. Until one day when a black-haired boy had approached him while he was sitting against the wall thinking. The boy had looked at Woojin and smiled, and then without a word he leaned against the wall and sat down too. They both sat like that the entire 40-minute group, taking peeks at each other occasionally. They were comfortable there, just sitting with someone else. They didn't need words to bond, just being close to each other was enough. 

  
  
  


That's how he had met Jeongin. A comfortable silence between two traumatized boys who barely spoke to other people. They had become close friends after that and had a bond that Woojin never had with anyone else. He smiled, he hadn't seen Jeongin in about a week so he was excited to see his 'LoveBug' as he called him again.

  
  


Unknown to Woojin almost 20 minutes had passed since he left for Margarets, and everyone else was already there. He still had a good 10 minutes to go before he reached them, even while running. He was late and everyone was already waiting for him. Chan had texted him a few times but he got no answer. Everyone was starting to worry for Woojin, after all, he had said the restaurant was close to his house and it wouldn't take him long to walk over. 

  
  


Woojin was once more stopped at an intersection when he finally checked his phone. “Shit, I’m so late!” He was out of breath, scrolling through his notifications. He quickly went into the group chat

  
  
  


**Just A Study Group** **_9:21_ **

_Mom_ : Hey guys! The location is further away than I thought so please just start without me! I will be there in about 10 minutes.

_Dad_ : Are you sure you don't just want me or Minho to come pick you up?

  
  
  


Woojin was running again and didn’t see the notification. He was trying his hardest to get there soon, he didn’t want to let the others down. He desperately wanted to be seen in a good light by his friends, he couldn't lose these new ones so soon.

  
  


Everyone was worried so they sent Minho out to find Woojin. He was worried as well, but Woojin was the oldest out of all of them, he figured the older could handle himself. Nevertheless, the others had begged him which led to Jeongin using his puppy eyes which were quite literally impossible to say no to. 

  
  


"Not down Fawn street." Minho said to himself as he peered down the streets he was passing. He wasn't that far from the restaurant, he wondered how far Woojin had made it. He wondered why he was even out looking for him, the older had said he'd be there soon and had no reason to lie to them.

  
  


But Minho got his answer to the question when he came across the older running down the street. "The fuck is he doing?" Minho asked himself. Woojin was full-blown sprinting down the road and he looked exhausted. Minho pulled over at the next side street, got out of his car and waited at the corner. As soon as Woojin saw Minho waiting there he slowed down, staring at him as he got closer. That isn't who he thinks it is right?

  
  


Woojin stopped a few steps from him. He shouldn't be here… He's supposed to be at the restaurant with the others so why is he standing right in front of me?

  
  


"M-Minho?" He was cautious, confused. He couldn't think of any reason Minho would be standing in front of him right now. He looked around, almost suspicious of his environment. Suspicious of his own mind, was he just imagining this?

  
  


"Yea, hey. The others were worried, they sent me out to look for you and make sure you were okay. I mean… I told them you could probably take care of yourself but Jeongin used his puppy eyes on me so. Um, are you okay?" Minho's eyes narrowed as he asked that, a sour look spreading across his face like he wasn't sure if that's a question he should be asking right now.

  
  


The younger took a step towards Woojin. The air between them was thin, tense, almost non-existent. Almost as if neither were breathing, So focused on the other in front of them and their thoughts that their brains didn't register the need for air. 

  
  


"I'm fine…" Woojin paused for a second, his vision focusing on something other than the boy in front of him for the first time since he had stopped running. A car. Minho's car. And suddenly he _really_ wasn't breathing. Suddenly his mind flashed with memories he tried so hard to ignore the past two months. Suddenly he was back in the car with his parents. His mom and dad. 

  
  


Until a second later when suddenly it all came crashing down around him again. Woojin fell onto the sidewalk, eyes focused painfully on the car. He heard the shattering of glass, the screams of the onlookers. He could taste the blood in his mouth. Suddenly, the past and the present had collided and he wasn't sure which he was in right now. “I’m okay… Not there…” Woojin kept repeating to himself. He knew he wasn’t there, what he was seeing wasn’t real. But it felt so real, he could feel the things that had happened perfectly. He could see… see so many things he wanted to forget. 

  
  


He could see the past so well that he couldn't register the present. Couldn’t feel when Minho wrapped his arms around him, couldn’t hear him calling out Woojins name. Couldn’t feel the tears escaping from his eyes. He was lost in the past, lost in the painful memories, lost in the last time he ever saw his parents alive. 

Lost in the last time he felt alive. Before everything came crashing down. When his parents died in front of him when he lost two of the people he loved most in the world. He had lost himself, and two months later he still hadn’t found himself. He didn’t know if he ever would. 

  
  


Before he even knew what was happening Woojin now had a blindfold being placed over his eyes and a hand wrapped around his. He heard someone whispering, someone trying to talk to him but he couldn’t hear, couldn’t respond. He could feel when he was lifted up into someone's arms and put somewhere, he wasn’t exactly sure where. Everything was too fast, too slow, too quiet, but too loud. He was flooded with feelings but at the same time, he also felt so empty and drained. 

  
  


He could feel himself leaned against a seat, he could hear the squeaking of the leather under him, but he didn’t care anymore. He was so overwhelmed, so confused, he _couldn’t_ care anymore, he felt like he was gonna explode. He felt exhausted, he was exhausted. So quietly he fell asleep, a blindfold around his eyes and not knowing where he was, but he just wanted to sleep. 

  
  


Woojin opened his eyes slowly, still infected with the lingering grogginess. The blindfold was still over his eyes. He just laid there, unsure of where he was. He didn't want to move or think, just wanted to sleep. He closed his eyes again, it not making much of a difference considering he couldn't see anyway. He was just about to fall asleep again. 

  
  


Until he heard whispers. Someone had approached where he was, there were at least two people because he heard two voices at least. He just stayed still, he didn't care, he just didn't want to draw attention to himself. He really wasn’t trying to listen… that was until he heard someone say his name. Then his ears were completely drawn to the hushed voices of whoever was standing outside.

  
  


“Do you know what caused it?” he heard one of them say. There was a pause and then a heavy sigh. “He saw my car.” It sounded more like a question than anything. They were talking about him, was this about why he had a blindfold over his eyes? That’s when it really set in that Woojin had no clue where he was right now, and for all he knows, he could have been kidnapped. 

  
  


So even though everything in his body was screaming at him to stay down and sleep more Woojin begrudgingly sat up and felt around some, trying to get some sense of where he was. His hand felt up and down the fabric of his seat until it reached some kind of handle. That’s weird… why a handle.

  
  
  


Wait. Shit! Was he in a car? 

  
  


Woojin quickly lifted a hand up to his face, hesitating. Did he really want to know… if he was, did he really want to go through the torment his mind would give when he saw. His hand fell back down into his lap, resting just above his knee. He couldn’t do this, he didn’t want to know, he just wanted to sleep. 

  
  


He was panicking again, there were so many wrongs in this situation, wrong in his mind. Before he even knew it he felt fresh tears spilling over onto his cheeks and he quickly ripped off his blindfold. He was in a car… he hadn't been in a car since the accident. Then very suddenly one of the doors was ripped open and he was brought out of the car and onto the ground.

  
  


Woojin felt two arms firmly around him, pulling him into the warmth of a body. He sobbed into their shirt not even thinking enough to look up and see who it was. "Shh, it's okay Jin, it's okay." Chan. He knew that voice it was Chan, of course, it was him. Who else would he so gentle and kind to a crying boy.

  
  


Woojin let himself hug close to the boy. He let himself fall into the embrace and breathe in his scent. He was calm, he was okay. So slowly, reluctantly, he let himself lean away from the hug. 

  
  


He let himself take in a deep breath. He felt the tightness in his throat and tried to relax, he didn't want to cry again. He didn't want to show more weakness. He didn't want to show more weakness to the others, but more so himself. Woojin was tired of crying, tired of being scared of the world, or the memories.

  
  


He wanted the flowers in his mind bloom. He wanted them to feel the sunlight. Maybe let the tears that he cried nurse them to health, sustain them as they flowed so gracefully out of his eyes. Let them fall onto the pretty petals as they opened under the light, as they sprouted their bright colors and absorbed the sadness of his mind.

  
  


He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be free from the darkness that keeps his petals from blooming. He wants to uproot himself and go to greener lands with richer soils and others like him. 

  
  


He was tired of falling, crashing, going off the path he’s supposed to be on. Up until this point he didn’t care enough about himself to admit he didn’t have enough light, that he was flying blind. But now he cares, now he has people. People that care for him, and he doesn’t want to lose them, to hurt them. He doesn’t want to disappoint them. So he’ll get better for them, but he’ll also get better for him. He’s going to work for this, work for the sunlight. He’s going to move his position in life so he can finally start opening into the beautiful colors he knows he holds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It took me longer to write than all of the ones so far, I guess I really just didn't know how to write this chapter and I lost interest in it on day three but I got it done on time! Also, I have a set schedule for updates now, every 10 days! So the next update will be on January 28. 
> 
> I had to change the chapter order again and I believe this will be the last change so here's the finalized list -
> 
> Study group  
> The Bakery on Ruby Street (Felix)  
> Get Together (Changbin)  
> Snowfall in August (Jisung)  
> Song Of Hope(Chan)  
> Crash and Burn (Woojin)  
> Keep Away (Seungmin)  
> New Beginnings  
> Upside-Down (Hyunjin)  
> Lost (Minho)  
> Talk To Me (Jeongin)  
> Hidden
> 
> So the next chapter will be all about Seungmin! 
> 
> I hope you all have an amazing week, and until next time on Just A Study Group!


	7. Keep Away - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first part of Seungmins story. Why he ended up here and how he feels about his past.
> 
> Also a bit of Truth or Dare and some fluffy parts between HyunLix and SeungIn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter - Panic Attacks, talk of stalker/cheating ex
> 
> So I apologize for 1. This chapter being late and 2. It not being completely finished.
> 
> I felt bad for missing two updates in a row so I decided to just post what I've written so far. I honestly dont know why this chapter is taking me so long.
> 
> So I'm sorry for the sort of abrupt ending of this one and I hope to get the next update out to everyone soon but for now enjoy half of Seungmins chapter.

**Keep Away**

August 23

Friday

3 days until school

When the group sent Minho out to find Woojin they really didn't know what to expect. One possibility none of them even thought of would be Minho coming back with a passed out, blindfolded Woojin in his backseat. Nor did they expect that when said boy woke up he would start crying and freaking out.

  
  


But that's what they got, that's what they dealt with. Thankfully Chan got him to calm down pretty fast and they quickly settled into their seats at the table. They all ordered, everyone got pancakes except for Changbin who settled on french toast instead.

  
  


It was pretty peaceful, everyone just sitting and eating. They would talk and make jokes in between bites but for the most part, they all ate in soothing silence. That was until Hyunjin busted out laughing at the way Jisung ate.

  
  


“You look like a squirrel when you eat!” He choked out between giggles. “It's adorable! Why do you stuff food in your cheeks like that?” 

  
  


“Do… do other people not eat like this?” Jisung responded, trying not to let the food stuffed in his cheeks slip out while he spoke. 

  
  


The group all had a laugh and even Jisung giggled about it. The boys all made sure to tell him how cute the way he ate was as they left, and a new nickname for him was made. Han “Squirrel” Jisung.

  
  


They had all decided to hang out since they all had the day free, and Seungmin being himself had offered up his house as a chill spot. His parents were supposed to be out all day today with his sister anyway, so it wasn't like they’d disrupt anyone by being there. So back into cars everyone went. They decided Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin would go with Chan in his car. In Minho's’ car Woojin, Changbin, and Hyunjin were all stuffed in the backseats while Jeongin sat peacefully in the front passenger seat. They had blindfolded Woojin so he wouldn’t freak out too bad and went on their way. 

  
  


Those in Minho's’ car had arrived first so they parked and waited for the second group to arrive so Seungmin could open the door. It was a few cold minutes until headlights had pulled up behind them and four tall boys had exited from the car. They saw Seungmin run-up towards his door so they all got out and headed up to the porch.

  
  


“My parents shouldn’t be home, they took my little sister to the doctor and he’s a bit far away so we should have the house to ours-” Seungmin was cut off as soon as he opened the front door and it revealed his parents snuggled up on the couch watching TV.

  
  


He paused for a second before entering, motioning for everyone else to stay outside for a second. "Hey… mom, dad, I brought some friends over. I didn't think you guys would be home. I didn't think we'd be bothering anyone, I'm sorry. If you want we can go somewhere else." Seungmin said with a pained look on his face, he didn't know how his parents would react. He never really had friends to invite over in the first place, so this was a first for him and his parents.

  
  


"Oh, sweety, it's okay!" Mrs. Kim said cheerfully as she stood up, walking over to her son and hugging him. "We would love to meet your friends, right honey!" She looked expectantly towards her husband, motioning for him to stand come join them by the door.

  
  


"O-okay? Um… you guys can come in." Seungmin opened the door a bit more as the 8 boys waiting outside entered and one by one whipped their shoes on the mat. 

  
  


As everyone shuffled in Seungmin suddenly remembered how messy his room is, he definitely had to do some quick cleaning in there. His floor was covered with scattered clothes and papers and he definitely had to do something about the posters on his wall. He didn't want to be embarrassed over the girl group posters on his wall but he couldn't help it, he'd never met anyone his age who liked the groups as much as him and he didn't feel like getting made fun of for it.

  
  


He started walking towards the stairs, taking his coat off and leaving it on the rack by the wall. "I'm gonna go tidy my room up a bit, you guys should introduce yourselves to my parents!" Seungmin smiled as he ascended the stairs.

  
  


So they did just that. The boys quickly introduced themselves and got to chatting with Seungmins parents. It was a pleasant conversation up until Hyunjin asked why they moved here. 

  
  


"Oh well, Seungmins ex was a little crazy, that boy. Such a sad time but I'm sure Seung has told you all about it. I'm just glad he hasn't followed us here to keep stalking him. It was a stressful time for all of us."

  
  


All of the boys were frozen for a moment, all focused on the stairs Seungmin had disappeared up. An ex? More than that, a stalker?

  
  


The most confused was Jeongin. Why hadn't Seungmin told him about this? They'd been friends for almost three months now and while he knew that wasn't that long Jeongin had asked him in the past why he seemed so close in and non-trusting. 

  
  


"It's so good he hasn't shown up again, let's pray he doesn't" Mr. Kim added in. "That boy was horrid to Seung I think it's a miracle we all made it out of that. First, he cheats on him, then when Seungmin has the courage to break it off the damn psychopath starts stalking and threatening him." Mr. Kim looked concerned, they all did.

  
  


The boys tried to let it not be too obvious this was the first they're hearing about this and switched the conversation rather quickly. They continued chatting with the Kim's casually for the next few minutes until they heard the pounding of feet on the stairs.

  
  


Where they expected to see Seungmin stood a girl about their age instead. They all stared blankly at each other for a moment until she took a step forward. 

  
  


"I'm Hyejin!" She smiled warmly towards them. "I'm Seungmins little sis, and all of you are?" Hyejin drew out the 'are' as she took another step, this time more towards her parents. 

  
  


The boys once more introduced themselves, this time to Hyejin. They spoke for a few minutes before finding out she's going to be attended YellowWood as well. Then the conversation switched to her asking questions about the school to Chan and Jeongin. 

  
  


Once more the steady beat of footsteps downstairs filled their ears and once more their heads turned towards it. Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting, there stood Seungmin. He blushed subtly, not used to having so many eyes on him all at once.

  
  


"You guys can come up now, sorry it took so long!" The boy stuttered out. Seungmin was nervous. The only person he'd ever let see his room before was his Ex, but that was at their old house and before things got crazy. 

  
  


He let all the boys go ahead of him and let each of them find a spot to sit in the room before he let himself relax the tiniest bit. He decided to squish into the small spot between Changbin and Jeongin. He ended up half-way on Jeongin's lap which was uncomfortable for both boys involved. In the blink of an eye, Jeongin had pushed Seungmin off of him and climbed onto the olders lap leaving both blushing and smiling. Everyone got settled into their seats and a moment of silence was shared between the 9.

  
  


Finally, someone spoke, asked a question, drew attention away from the thing plaguing 8 of the 9 boys' minds. Drew attention away from the way everyone was looking at Seungmin. 

  
  


“So, what should we do now?” the voice rang out around the room, the volume of it all too loud against the quiet. Chan winced at it, Jeongin jumped up slightly from his post on Seungmins lap, and Hyunjin all but fell out of his seat. But no matter how each of the boys reacted they were all grateful for the distraction from their heavy thoughts.

“Truth or dare?” were the next words out of someone's mouth, Jisung, Of course.

  
  


It was silent for a moment before everyone just slowly nodded their heads, the game had begun. 

  
  


"So…" Jisung looked around the room, pausing on each boy to take in their features and come up with a question to ask them. When his eyes stopped on Felix he came up with one that had him smiling ear to ear. 

  
  


"Lixxie!" Jisung spoke up quickly. "Truth or dare?" He narrowed his eyes towards the boy.

  
  


"Truth, please." Felix shot back faster than even he expected. 

  
  


"So, Lix, when you asked for kisses this morning and Chan offered, did you accept?" Jisung asked the freckled boy that was now blushing a deep shade of red. 

  
  


"No, he didn't, sadly. But I definitely wouldn't have minded if he did." Chan chimed in, winking at Felix.

  
  


There was a mixture of "awh" and laughter around the room at the comment. 

  
  


Next, it was Felix's turn. He looked carefully around the room, studying each of the boy's body language. He wanted to see who was the most confident, he wanted to see how flustered he could make one of the boys. His eyes drew along the walls as he scanned and scanned until finally, he landed on one Hwang Hyunjin.

  
  


"Jinnie, truth or dare?" He asked slowly, almost drawing it out as he thought carefully about what he wanted to say to each response. 

  
  


Hyunjin thought for a moment, tried to think of what Felix could possibly ask or make him do. He tried to think of why Felix picked him and what he had in mind. After his second of silence Hyunjin confidently spoke out "Dare." 

  
  


Felix had to stop himself from laughing, he had the perfect plan. Hyunjin always seemed so confident with himself over text, but we wanted to see just how flustered he could make him in person. 

  
  


"You have to let me sit on your lap for the rest of the game, and not like how Innies on Seung. I mean like my legs wrapped around you and my face in your neck." Felix smiled brightly, seeming happy with Hyunjin's response.

  
  


The poor boy all but fainted on the spot. A cute boy just dared him to let him sit on his lap. Hyunjin could feel the blush now dusting his cheeks and neck. He tried to respond with words but they just caught in his throat so he just nodded and opened his arms to the brunette. 

  
  


Felix gracefully got up and plopped himself down into Hyunjin's lap, wrapping his legs around the boy's waist and his arms around his neck. He let himself settle into his new spot before he softly laid his head down onto Hyunjin's shoulder and sighed happily. Hyunjin wrapped his arms around the smaller's waist and pulled him a bit closer until their chests were touching and also settled into the cuddle, nuzzling his nose into Felix's neck making him giggle. 

  
  


The other 7 boys in the room watched them with fond eyes, taking in the adorable and somewhat funny sight as Hyunjin almost jumped out of his skin when Felix sat on him. 

  
  


The group continued playing late into the day, asking questions and doing dares. They all enjoyed getting to know each other better and enjoyed the laughs they all shared. The group was comfortable with each other, they had all started trusting each other more than any of them had trusted anyone in a while

  
  


Finally, the sun had set and everyone decided to head home except for Jeongin. He had asked to stay the night and Seungmins parents had said yes. So now with everyone else gone Seungmin and Jeongin lay on Seungmins bed cuddled up next to each other, just taking the other in. 

  
  


They lay there for some time until Jeongin decided to finally speak up about what's been on his mind all day.

  
  


"Your parents told us…" He paused for a second, moving away from Seungmin to get a better view of his face. He looked anxious, scared of what w0uld be said next.

  
  


"They told us why you moved here." 

  
  


And with those 7 words, Seungmin's heart had almost stopped beating. He hadn't been ready to tell anyone yet, let alone this group he'd just met weeks ago. Yes, he'd known Jeongin for longer but it's still only been three months. He was comfortable, trusting, loving of his new group of friends. But it wasn't anything he was ready to talk about.

  
  


Seungmin was on the verge of tears and Jeongin pulled him closer. They were wrapped around each other, both trying to stay calm. Sungmin's face was buried in Jeongin's shirt as Jeongin laid his chin on the olders head. 

And that’s how they would stay for the rest of the night as they dozed off in each others' warmth, grasping on to the other like if they let go they’d be swallowed whole by the dark thoughts on the verge of breaking into the light. 

  
  


9 hours later both boys awoke to the smell of bacon and sausage being cooked downstairs. Jeongin groggily rubbed his eyes and sat up to get out of bed. Seungmin sat up for a brief second only to pull Jeongin back down into the bed with him.

  
  


“Stay Innie, cuddle more.” Seungmin spat out tiredly as he pulled Jeongin closer to him, rubbing his face against the youngers neck affectionately. 

  
  


“But Seung, there's food downstairs, aren't you hungry?” The younger asked as he tried to pull away from the older. 

  
  


Seungmin simply groaned and pulled Jeongin closer, this time ruffling his hair and scanning his face. Seungmin’s eyes traced along Jeongin’s jaw-line, leading around his eyes and down his nose until the olders eyes softly settled over Jeongin’s lips. 

  
  


Their faces got ever-closer to each other until they were only inches apart, their breaths heavy and almost panicked. 

  
  


Almost as quick as Seungmin had pulled him close, suddenly Jeongin was being pushed away and Seungmin was sitting on the opposite side of the bed. "Fuck" was the first thing to escape his mouth as his hands found their way to his sides, Seungmin hugged himself tightly as he tried not to cry.

  
  


Jeongin made his way to the other side of the bed, wrapping his arms around Seungmin as a stream of "I'm sorry"'s left the olders mouth. The younger held him close, trying to comfort him. He shushed him softly, holding him close from behind.

  
  


"Minnie, don't worry, it's okay." Jeongin whispered in the olders ear. 

  
  


Seungmin steadied his breathing, turning around to face the younger.

  
  


"I-..." Seungmin started speaking, but quickly shut his mouth. 

  
  


He didn't know what to say, or how to explain. What happened to him wasn't something he talked about, it wasn't something he liked thinking about. 

  
  


"If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to." Jeongin held out his hand, fingers wide open for Seungmin to grasp. And he did, their fingers now laced together in a desperate attempt at speaking without words.

  
  


"Let's go get breakfast and just relax. And, afterward, we'll talk Innie. I promise." Seungmin smiled reassuringly, he meant it. He knew he would need to talk about it eventually, talk about the hell his ex put him through. If there was anyone he would trust to tell it to right now, it would be Jeongin.

  
  


They headed downstairs together, hand in hand.

  
  


Everyone at the table was quiet. Seungmin and Jeongin were sitting across from each other. Hyejin was next to Jeongin and he seemed to be uncomfortable with that with how much he kept fidgeting. 

  
  


The boys were both eating at completely different paces. Jeongin was barely chewing his food as he scarfed it down. Seungmin was taking the smallest bites he could without being suspicious. One wanted to be there to hear his friends story and learn more about him. The other was dreading having to talk about himself. But quickly they finished their meal and the time had come to have the conversation. 

  
  


Jeongin held Seungmins hand as they went up the stairs together. He wanted to learn more about his friend but also didn't want to make him uncomfortable. 

  
  


When they reached Seungmins room both boys sat down next to each other on the bed. They stared blankly at each other for a moment.

  
  


Then Seungmin took a breath, he was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea, that's what I have so far. Once again I'm sorry for it being late and only half-finished but I really wanted to post something for you guys. I hope it wasn't too disappointing!


	8. Discontinued

Hi everyone. I'm sorry for those who have been keeping up with this story, I apologize there haven't been many updates and I didn't get that far with this story.

  
Recently my mental health hadn't been the best, I'm the worst I've been in over a year. I've been working hard to keep myself as stable as possible while dealing with the situations around me in life right now, but it's hard.

  
During all of this I lost motivation for this story, it just isent something I ever find myself excited to work on anymore. So I apologize, but as of this moment I will no longer be continuing this story. 

  
Maybe one day I'll continue working on it, but I dont know if I ever will. I hope everyone understands.

  
I'm working on a few other ideas at the moment, things that I'm enjoying writing, but I'm unsure if I'll post them. 

  
For now this is all, I hope you enjoyed the story up until now. Have a good day/night wherever you are!


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